Change Happens

I am a person who thrives on routine. Every morning I make coffee, slip away for a few minutes of Bible study, shower and eat the same breakfast—a bowl of oatmeal with milk and walnuts. For date nights with my husband John, I want to eat at the same restaurants. (And once there I order the same thing). During the day, I visit the same websites, read the same blogs, interact with the same friends. And in the humorous way life works, life seems to be one of constant change. I homeschool my kids, which means new subjects/assignments daily. I write books about ever-changing topics with various deadlines. I can't count on summer breaks, Saturday lazy days or even, on occasion, sleep.
  
If that hasn't been good enough, change happened when I felt drawn to launch a crisis pregnancy center. And after that, my heart was tugged to lead Teen MOPS. (And deal with teenage moms who are in a crisis of change in their lives!) Our family traveled to the Czech Republic where we taught English at a family camp. New culture, new food, new language, oh my! In fact, the only thing that hasn't changed as my children have grown is the realization they still need me. (And I have a feeling that will never change ...)
  
You may think I'd be a little perturbed with God by now. I mean, He made me one way and pushed me to act another by stirring my heart and my compassion. But instead of being mad, I'm thankful. Without change always happening, I'd be happy within my four walls—left picking lint off the floor with my fingers and stressing over fingerprints on the windows (which I've been known to do). I'm actually happy there are times I'm pushed out of my comfort zone because it's there where I find God, and I discover He not only equips me and meets my needs, He's present through every change: comforting, guiding, encouraging me with His joy and peace.
  
Looking back, perhaps all these minor changes have been in preparation for the bigger ones to come. As I write this, my family and I will soon be celebrating the one year anniversary of moving 2,000 miles across the country for my husband's new job. And, or course praising the Father for our adopted daughter, Alyssa.
  
To say our lives are gonna to change is an understatement. With my youngest in high school, things were getting easy. Now we are back to diapers, bottles, and spit-up on my clothes. This past summer I planned a wedding, and a graduation from junior college, while also dealing with teething and middle of the night feedings. Who would have thought?
  
The one question I've been asked is, “Why? Why start again when your kids can cook, clean and care for themselves? The first (and obvious) answer is that I get to be part of a local MOPS group again! But two other answers follow: 1) John and I know there is no greater job or greater joy than raising children and we see it as a privilege and a gift, and 2) through change God will show up in amazing ways. I'm changed as I change diapers.
  
Is change happening in your life right now? Yup, that's to be expected. Are you eager yet scared, hopeful yet anxious? That's understandable too. Just remember that even though you'd rather keep everything the same, God is waiting for you—often just beyond your comfort zone. He's there with open arms and a ready smile, prepared to walk with you, every step of the ever-changing way.
  
And that's something that will never change.

Getting away with something ...

junebug.com

I felt like I was sneaking out and getting away with something. I was on the top of a mountain at a ski resort with two dozen teen girls. We were having a retreat, and I was the speaker. We spent time playing games, having a spa day, and as we sat in front of a cracking fireplace I told these amazing young women about my high school years and all the mistakes I'd made.

“I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I ended up pregnant ... twice. I thought I'd never find a godly man who would want to be my husband, but God had other plans,” I told them.

I looked around at the faces of the teens as the sat and listened to my story. Part of me wished I had a better story to tell. I wished I'd done everything right. But afterwards, as I spoke with some of the young women, I was thankful God had led me there. Some of them had already made many mistakes and had gone too far with their boyfriends. Many, like I had, doubted if there would ever be a godly guy who'd love them. I was glad to tell them that no matter what they'd done, God had good plans for them … just like He did for me.

My life changed when I accepted Jesus Christ's free gift of salvation. I was a new person—someone who had no more sin and all the potential of Christ in me. Things changed again when I surrendered everything to Jesus. For many years I thought I had to figure out how to serve God. I taught Sunday School, I led Bible Studies, I cooked for church dinners, only to feel overwhelmed and frazzled. Yet, when I really surrendered myself and asked God to show me how He wanted me to serve, He led me to an amazing ministry—speaking to teen girls and teen moms. I discovered that my greatest failures gave me a compassion for these young women. I understood where they were coming from because I used to be where they are.

And that's what's amazing about God. First he saves us, then … as we give our everything to Him … He sets us to serve in the work He's planned for us to do. Ephesians 2:7-10 talks about this:

“Saving is ... God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.” Ephesians 2:7-10 (The Message).

After all my mess ups, it's amazing to know that God had good plans for my life. He's done more amazing things than I could ever imagine! The thing that it took, though, is understanding who I was and who I am. I was a sinner, saved by grace. I am a child of God who is amazed by how He's transformed my life. I am also someone who loved to connect with people. And in an amazing way sharing the ways I've screwed up my life has allowed me to connect with others in ways I hadn't though possible.

God knows me better than anyone else. He loves me more than anyone. How could I have ever doubted He could make something good out of my life? The best decision I ever made was to give Him everything. And as I continue to connect with teen girls, I tell them that.

Nobody Told Me: What You Need to Know About the Physical and Emotional Consequences of Sex Outside of Marriage

Tricia:
I love how God uses the stories of our past to make a difference. I especially love how our personal stories can impact the lives of others. Today I asked my friend Melissa to share a story of why she (like me) has a passion for young people and purity. Melissa co-wrote a book, “Nobody Told Me: What You Need to Know About the Physical and Emotional Consequences of Sex Outside of Marriage.” Despite my busy week I found myself picking this book up over and over. I even read parts of it to John when we went to bed. “Just a minute honey, don't turn off the light yet, you have to hear this.” I'm excited to share this book with the teen moms I mentor and my own teens. I think you'll want to do the same, especially after you hear Melissa's heart.

Melissa:
I’ll never forget the day I was sitting in church and noticed her swollen belly. Only a junior in high school and from a well respected family, shock set in as I considered the possibility that Heather was pregnant. Although our interactions to that point were limited to a youth trip the previous summer, I imagined how frightened she must be feeling and how brave she was for attending services despite being obviously embarrassed.

Lord, show me what to do?

When the service was done, I had God’s answer. I needed to be present. So, after the closing song, I turned her direction only to find her head down, quickly rushing away. Once I caught up to her, I invited her to meet at Dairy Queen where my suspicion was confirmed and words spilled from her mouth that broke my heart, “Most people are ignoring me. I’m so scared.”

She needed encouragement.

In my own life, I’d committed to abstinence until marriage. Dating (my now husband) at the time, I’d set clear boundaries and was living them out. I knew that my body was a temple of the Holy Spirit and that any boy I’d potentially marry would need to love God, family, and honor healthy boundaries. Charlie was fitting the bill!

As we started college, some couldn’t believe that we’d dated since 16 and still hadn’t had sex. Naturally, the shock grew over the years. (We didn’t marry until a month post graduation). And, even though we were standing strong ...


We appreciated encouragement.

Thankfully, I had this in the support of my loving parents, my youth pastor, and my close friends that were living out the same choice. Furthermore, I was volunteer, counseling in a crisis pregnancy center, and the pain I saw in well-intentioned young people who bought the lies spoon fed to them by common culture made me confident I was making the right decision.

Wanting to dedicate my life to helping others understand God’s powerful love and experience His very best, I continued volunteer work in the crisis pregnancy center. Beyond that, God connected me with Internationally known speaker, Pam Stenzel.

We both know that every young person needs encouragement and that every young person (regardless of their past) has the ability to make wise choices for their future. With this in mind, we recently wrote “Nobody Told Me: What You Need to Know About the Physical and Emotional Consequences of Sex Outside of Marriage.”

This book is perfect for every student regardless of the choices they have made. For those who have abstained, this book will offer a window into the heart of their peers, provide answers to difficult questions they still might have (and be afraid to ask), strengthen them to remain pure until marriage, and offer for them suggestions to help them live that out.

For those who have made mistakes, this book will give them the opportunity to hear stories of young people struggling right along with them, but within that commonality our words will:

•     provide clarity where there was confusion,
•    hope where there was pain,
•    experienced forgiveness from a loving God,
•    understanding that their past choices don’t have to define their future ones,
•    and practical steps to redeeming their future.

To effectively deliver the message, Pam and I took years worth of teens’ shared stories and questions about God’s design for sex, Scriptural encouragement, media influence, peer pressure, abuse, pregnancy, STDs, emotional heartache, recycled virginity, and choosing abstinence until marriage and uniquely formatted into a fun Facebook-like format.

Using this creative style, this book meets teens (and all who love them) where they are at and provide them with accurate answers to today’s tough questions so that they aren’t the next to tearfully say to God, their parents, a physician, or a future spouse, “Nobody told me. I didn’t know.”

Tricia:
Okay, I had to admit my eyes teared up when I read their title. As someone who had an abortion at 15, I can honestly say, “Nobody told me.” It wasn't that no one didn't tell me that if you had sex before marriage you could get pregnant. I knew that. What nobody told me (not my parents, my teachers, my pastor, my youth leaders) was that wait was such a beautiful gift and I didn't need to give my body to get love.

While the book is written for students 12 and up, it is also very helpful for parents, youth workers, crisis pregnancy workers, mentors, etc. because we live in a rapidly changing world. The consequences that today’s adults faced as a teens are no longer the same as the teenagers of today. The number of STDs has risen, media exposure delivers wildly different messages, and the people in the home and church haven’t always known how to effectively deliver an abstinence-based message that is both glorifying to God and yet honest and powerful enough to pack a punch with the students who hear it.

This book will bring you and the teens you love up to speed and effectively communicates a message that empowers  young people to choose self-respect and Godly choices from this day forward.

*Note* Go here to learn more about Pam’s journey to pro-life ministry AND enter for a chance to win a copy of the new book!

Pam’s website – www.pamstenzel.com
Melissa’s website - http://melissanesdahl.blogspot.com/
Fan Page for the book

If marriage were like a business...

You'd consider the cost before you invest.

You'd determine long-term goals: to become established, to have joy in what you do, to profit, to grow
You'd consider your customer wishes and discover how to fulfill those wishes

What is the cost?

What are your long-term goals?

How do you fulfill your customer's needs ... in marriage.

The cost. Well, I don't need to go into that. Love is patient, love is kind, love ... (you know where I'm going with this).

Who is your customer? There's only one ...

My husband needs respect, affection, to be tended to and cared for, to enjoy life, to fulfill a purpose.

What does he profit?

My husband chose me because I seemed the best bang for his buck. Thankfully there is a "no returns" policy. Even when there's a decline in customer service, he has no where else to go.

Sometimes he even has to wait in line. There are other projects (kids and books to name a few) that compete for my time, energy, affection and love. Knowing this makes me what to try better. It makes me want to serve him for his patience and understanding.

What are my husband's long-term goals? To spend every day of his life with me. I can either make that a five-star experience or a 1-star flop.

To tell you the truth, I didn't count the cost as I should have before I got married. I was concerned more with what I could get rather than what I would give. Thankfully, I've discovered that God helps me every step of the way. When I focus on Him, He sets my goals, helps me focus on customer needs, and strengthens me as I continue to pay the cost. God also knows the rewards are better than I ever expected and it's all worth signing up for.

Do Characters Name Themselves?

Well, sometimes!

People have asked me where I get my characters' names. They come from many places. In my first novel, From Dust and Ashes, Michaela came from a storekeeper I met in Prague. She was a sweet older woman selling her handcrafts. I tried to imagine her young—tried to picture what she faced during the WWII. I especially connected with the character because of the real person I'd met.

Most of the time I consider that nationality of the person and I look up baby names from the era they were born in. I also look up the meaning.

In my Chronicles of the Spanish Civil War Novels, Petra is a young woman from Spain who loses everything, yet she must be a rock for those she's helping. Petra means “stone.” It fit perfectly.

In Songbird Under a German Moon I wanted to “capture” 1945 perfectly. What more perfect names could there be than Betty and Frank?

Other times when I get an idea for the novel, the name comes with it. From the first moment I got the idea for Dawn of a Thousand Nights the name Libby came with it. It was almost as if she named herself!

The hardest part about names is that I feel if use them in a book I can't use them for a baby name. We're currently in the process of adopting from China. It is still be a few years before we have a baby girl, but I can't come up with a name. I've used my favorites in my books.

Then again … could I name a baby after one of my characters? If she ends up being Helene, Mary, Sophie, Marianna, Ava, Julia, Anika, Katrine, Charlotte, Rosalie, Betty or Gabi … then you know I went for it!

Thursday on Living Inspired: Robin Lee Hatcher

To listen to the interview: go here and click on the player in the upper right corner of the screen. Thursday at 3:00 pm Central.

I'm thrilled to have my friend and fellow novelist on the show this week. Robin has written over sixty (WOW!) novels. We'll be talking about conflict and hope in writing and in life. Robin is just beginning chemo after finding out she has cancer. She is an inspiration to me and I know she will be to you too. Don't miss Thursday's show.

More about Robin: Best-selling novelist Robin Lee Hatcher is known for her heartwarming and emotionally charged stories of faith, courage, and love. She discovered her vocation after many years of reading everything she could put her hands on, including the backs of cereal boxes and ketchup bottles. The winner of the Christy Award for Excellence in Christian Fiction (Whispers from Yesterday), the RITA Award for Best Inspirational Romance (Patterns of Love and The Shepherd's Voice), two RT Career Achievement Awards (Americana Romance and Inspirational Fiction), and the RWA Lifetime Achievement Award, Robin is the author of over 60 novels. Her historical romance Catching Katie was named one of the Best Books of 2004 by the Library Journal.

Robin enjoys being with her family, spending time in the beautiful Idaho outdoors, reading books that make her cry, and watching romantic movies. She is passionate about the theater, and several nights every summer, she can be found at the outdoor amphitheater of the Idaho Shakespeare Festival, enjoying plays under the stars. She makes her home on the outskirts of Boise, sharing it with Poppet, the high-maintenance Papillon, and Princess Pinky, the kitten who currently terrorizes the household.

For a chance to win a copy of Robin's beloved classic, Ribbon of Years, leave a comment {HERE} (and your email address). The winner will be notified via email next week.

More about Ribbon of Years: Named a Top Ten Favorite Novel of 2001 by Christianbook.com
In 1936, 15-year-old Miriam Gresham of River Bluff, Idaho, wanted nothing more than to be a famous actress, just like Greta Garbo. But God had other things in mind. The remarkable story of her life of faith comes to light at an estate sale ... and to restless Julianna Crosby, it's a priceless find!

Hatcher writes with a strength and compassion that celebrates the impact of one devout woman on the people around her. Highly recommended. — Library Journal

What Really Matters?

Last night at 9:30 p.m. Nathan and I were waiting for John at church when he looked around. "Mom, Alyssa is going to have a completely different upbringing than Cory, Leslie, and me. I grew up in Montana where everyone pretty much looked like me, and she has this."

"This" was our multi-ethnic church where we worship with people of all cultures and colors. The slogan of Mosaic is, "on earth as it is in heaven," and that's how I feel when I'm worshipping. This is what heaven is going to be like--all nations together.

Last night we were waiting at church because we'd just finished our teen mom support group. I was bagging up bagels that were a donation from a local business. I was thinking about all the moms and their many needs.

We were waiting because John was taking one of the young women, her baby daddy (that's what she calls him), and her two month old baby home. We were waiting and waiting because during the meeting the young woman started feeling sicker and sicker, and so John took them to the Arkansas Children's Hospital instead of home. (This young mom is only 15.)

As I waited, I again started thanking God for all He's given me. We have a car. I have a computer. I have a loving family. I have my high school diploma. I have a loving spouse. I have enough clothes to wear. I have (more) than enough food to eat. I have the resources I need to take care of my baby. I have the knowledge of being a mom. I have Jesus--best of all. I hope through our meetings we'll have these young moms with some--most--of these things.

The more I've thought about it, the more I've thought of other things that will be different about Alyssa's upbringing. The weather is very different. The culture is different. The motivations and attitudes of people down here are different.

Also, we're living in an apartment while we're still trying to sell our house. The apartment is 1/2 the size. Yesterday I was thanking God for this safe, clean place. I'm praying daily He'll take away any dissatisfaction.

And ... the more I think about it, the more I realize it's my "struggles" in Little Rock that help me to relate to these young moms better. As I learn about life here and discover the area, I'm reminded about the "newness" of the outside world for these teen mom. Also, I don't have a large house to escape too. I don't have a home that I/we can drive up to and say, "This is ours." And going through the sale process, it's reminded me that what we had wasn't ours in the first place. In fact, if I go farther, I'm beginning to realize that maybe the American dream is one of the bubbles God has popped. Home ownership may be the American dream, but is it God's?

As you can see, the move down here wasn't only about John's job--although he's loving it and we're happy we made the change. Instead, I feel like the move has been a good wake up call. Life in Montana, in my church, with my friends was getting pretty comfortable. God needed to shake things up so I could start looking around and asking, "What really matters?"

Every year I pray for God to give me a "word" for the year. Last year it was Gather. That seemed foolish since I was leaving everything behind, but I clung to it.

This year it's "center." I'm just starting to understand what that means, and I'm beginning to see it's about focusing on the core of my worship and my motivations. Am I doing what I'm doing from the innermost part of my heart with the best, most God-honoring intentions?

Last year, God brought me to a new place, and I gathered my family close. I gathered new friends. I gathered relationships with a church filled with people unlike me.

This year, my prayer is that my center will be as pure as God longs for it to be. Fluff and good intentions don't work in the core. I want to be solid in my faith and in my motivations to love God and others. I think God has put me in the place that will allow Him to do just that.

Have you ever thought about things you regret?

Here are a few ...


1. High school romances
2. Buying more books than I could ever read. (I've given away hundreds and should have made better use of the library.)
3. Not being more dedicated to exercise.
4. Declining lunch invitations over my to-do list.
5. Not getting more photos of the WWII veterans I've interviewed.
6. Comparing myself to others.

As I sat here and thought about it, there are other things I regret, but I can see how God has used those things for His glory. I regret having an abortion, probably more than anything ... yet because of that I've been passionate about supporting crisis pregnancy centers and talking to teens about abstinence. I regret getting pregnant as a teen ... sort of. Even though I was making bad choices, I'm thankful for my son.

If I were to do things differently, knowing what I know now, I'd make different choices.

Then again, would I be the person I am today if God hadn't transformed my life in so many ways?

What about you?

The Hollywood Baby Boom Isn't Just About Sex

It's being called the Hollywood baby boom because all of the stars, it seems, recently had, is about to have, or just announced they're having a baby. It's a trend that I've been noticing for a while, just check out the covers of magazines like People and Us. If I took time to compare covers from now and twenty or thirty years ago the message would be clear: babies are hot stuff.

I knew this was coming, and I don't think we've hit the peak yet. When I mentioned the Hollywood baby boom on Twitter one of my friends wrote back and said, “It's just not in Hollywood, all my friends are pregnant.”

Another friend sent me this tweet. “Did you hear about the high school in Memphis? 86 teens are pregnant in one school.” I looked it up and she was right. You can find the information HERE.

So what's up with that? Is it all about the sex? Are people more sexually active and then, “Whoops, here comes baby.”

One school official in Memphis thinks so. The last line in the article linked above says:

“It’s upsetting that we continue to see the rates of teen pregnancy ticking up in certain areas,” Alvarez said. “I think we really need to focus on education – that’s really the key.”

Is she right? Maybe in part. I'm sure there are some teens that let their passions take them away and didn't fully understand how to prevent pregnancy. But I think that's the minority. It goes deeper than that. It goes to the heart.

You see, our fascination with children didn't start in the last few years. It started with our parents. As you know each generations seems to flip their values. The dedicated, stable, hard working Baby Boomers raised the wild “love children” of the 60's and 70's. Those hippies are our parents. Their generation brought in legalized abortion. They brought in latch key children. My friends and I were the ones who had moms and dads who both worked outside of the home (more than any other time in history). Our parents were also the ones who increased the divorce/live ins/and multiple marriages thing. We had bio dads, step moms, step dads and then there were the boy/girlfriends that never committed themselves to marriage. Children were everyone's last concern.

“The best type of parent is a happy parent” was the motto of those years. Really? I wonder if the kids would agree.

So where does that leave us?

Like I quoted in my book, Generation NeXt Parenting:

“Because of the loneliness and alienation of splintered family attachments, 'experts' have claimed that the strongest desire of Gen Xers is acceptance and belonging.”

Here's another statistic from Generation Next Parenting. “According to a 2003 survey of 2,020 parents, twice as may Gen X mothers spent more than twelve hours a day attending to children rearing and household responsibilities.

"Rough half of Gen X fathers devoted three to six hours a day to domesticity. Only 39 percent of baby boomer dads could stay the same.”

A Peer Personality is a generation persona recognized and determined by (1) common age and location; (3) common beliefs and behavior; and (3) perceived membership in a common generation.

So what is our Peer Personality? If I were to sum it up, our generation is like a stubborn five year old. We have our fingers wagging in our ears and our tongues sticking out. “Naher, naher, I don't care what you think. CHILDREN ARE IMPORTANT!”

I have to admit I too have pulled those magazines off the checkstand aisle, flipping through and checking out the star-babies. That's the value I hold deep in my heart, too: “Children are important.” If I look around, I see this lived out by myself and those in my generation in a few ways.

There is ...
a rise in stay-at-home moms
a huge jump in homeschooling or private/charter schools
an increase in extracurricular activities
a growing number of families adopting children

Those are the positives. I started out this blog talking about other, more negative factors such as the Hollywood baby boom (which I feel is negative because of the lack of committed star marriages) and the rise in teen pregnancy.

Whether positive or negative, the core value that we hold closest is clear: family and children are worth most. This became our greatest value because of we lacked in our growing up years. As one teen mom told me, “I wanted someone to love. Someone who would always be mine.” She'd been abandoned by her parents, and she'd been violated by others in her life. She longed for love and a child seemed like a safe place to find that love.

So truthfully, I don't think education has much to do with it. The majority of people know how NOT to get pregnant. I also don't think Hollywood is setting the standard in this case. They're just echoing the feelings and emotions of our society. They're spotlighting what all of us feel.

What should we do about it? I have a few ideas.

1.We should embrace families. If they feel family/children are important then we need to support them in all the ways we can. Be a positive influence. Start local support groups. Make 'family and children' discipleship a priority for your church.

2.We need to mentor young people. Teens turn to each other for sex and love because they are hungry for attention and affection. If we step in and be positive influences in their lives we will make a difference.

3.We need to lift high the commitment of marriage. The best place to raise a baby is in the home of two parents who love each other and are dedicated to building and serving their family together.

4.We need to share the good news of Jesus Christ. It's not about a religion, it's about a relationship. The love that we long for can (in part) be found in the embrace of a child or spouse, but those things can never fill the God-shaped holes in our hearts.

Take a moment and think about how YOU can help in one of the above areas. It will make a difference. A huge one. And if we impact those having babies in positive ways, we're going to impact the next generation.

You see it's not all about sex. It's about a generation hungry for love. What can you do today to point them to the Source Who will satisfy?

Inspire Life Bible Campaign

As many of you know, I was one of three ladies who helped start Hope Pregnancy Center in Kalispell, Montana in 2000. Because of my past, helping women facing crisis pregnancies is near and dear to my heart. That's why I thought you'd appreciate this ...

You Can Help Women Choose Life and Know the Truth!

Care Net and Tyndale House Publishers, recently announced their partnership in the Inspire Life™ Bible Campaign. This campaign allows customers in Christian bookstores across America to share compassion and faith with women in crisis by equipping peer counselors at Care Net and other pregnancy centers across America with free Bibles for the women to whom they minister. In the first week of the campaign, more than 22,000 Bibles were purchased!

Available in both English and Spanish, the Beautiful Everyday Bible has a dedication page that customers can sign when they purchase it in a Christian bookstore. The Bible is then personalized by a counselor and presented to a woman seeking support at a local center. Care Net pregnancy centers may access campaign information for affiliate centers on their website.

Here's how it works!

Purchase the Beautiful Everyday Bible at your local Christian bookstore. Find your local store here. 

• Sign the "From" line on the dedication page at the front of the Bible.
• Give it to the store associate.

That's it! 

The local pregnancy center the store's partnering with will stop by the store and pick up the signed Bible you bought and will personalize it for one of their recipients.

Tell your friends about this great program!

What I wished I knew about men before I got married.

(And by men I mean I'm focusing on my husband!)

1. Men can't read your mind. If you "hint" at wanting help, they will not get it. Asking sweetly works much better.

2. Men don't like to be rushed with problems as soon as they get in the door.

3. Men feel like they'll fail as a spiritual leader. Sometimes it's easier not to try than to see disappointment in your spouse's gaze.

4. Men are visual. Very visual.

5. Men like someone to listen to their dreams. It doesn't mean they're going to go out and quit their jobs tomorrow, but a listening ear matters.

6. Men are born wanting to protect the weak and fight for honor, but those emotions rarely have a chance to exhibit themselves in the real world.

7. A good meal and a warm wife can wash away every other care in the world.

Screamers ...

My favorite booksigning happened about five years ago at ICRS. I was signing one of my WWII novels for Moody and right across from me was Kirk Cameron and his mom signing a book that she wrote.

I had a pretty good line. My sweet husband was talking to people and telling them about my book. (He's a keeper!) The Cameron's had a LONG line. It wrapped all the way around the booth and beyond.

After about thirty minutes, someone who must be friends with Kirk's mom approached. They both started screaming and jumping up and down. Everyone turned to look of course.

I was signing a book for a lady from Dayspring cards. I offhandedly said with a chuckle, "No one has ever done that for me."

Suddenly, this woman started jumping up and down. "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness you're Tricia Goyer. You're my favorite author EVER!" She kept jumping and clapping and screaming. I was nearly on the floor laughing so hard!! Immediately my line started FILLING. It was like zebras running to a watering hole. People came from every direction.

Not to be out done, Kirk started jumping up and down. "Oh my goodness, it's Kirk Cameron!" Then he jumped into his body guard's arms!

The Dayspring lady left before I could thank her. After that my line was FULL. I'd never signed so many books. You should have seen people whispering in line. "Who is she again? What does she write?" Some asked to have their photos taken with me. Others said they were on the other side of the convention center floor and came to get in line.

I'm thinking about hiring a screamer at every booksigning now :)

And the winners are ...

Mesillam and Jennifer Lee. 

You both won a FAMILY REGISTRATION & TIM HAWKINS TICKETS to The MID SOUTH Homeschool Convention!

Winners were chosen at random using Random.org.

Please email my assistant Amy (amy@triciagoyer.com) with your email address, mailing address and how many Hawkins tickets you'll need for your family. Congrats and I'll see you at the show!

This week on Living Inspired: Marcia Washburn

To listen to the interview: go here and click on the player in the upper right corner of the screen. Thursday at 3:00 pm Central.

Don't miss Thursday's interview with my guest Marcia Washburn. We'll be discussing Father Knows Best: Learning to Trust God Instead of Myself. Marcia traces her journey of learning to trust God as He has stretched her beyond her comfort zone. She shares vivid personal stories including her long-distance engagement, dealing with a crisis pregnancy, homeschooling five boys, teaching home education principles in an Ecuadorian jungle village, and more. Join us for this reminder that our Father does indeed know best. Tune in on Thursday at 3:00 PM Central.

More about Marcia: Marcia Washburn, joyfully married for 34 years, is the mother of five sons whom she homeschooled in their rural Colorado (USA) home for nineteen years. She has served in various leadership positions at the local and state level and holds advanced degrees in elementary education & music education. She was awarded the 2009 Dr. Ruth Beechick Award for Outstanding Contribution to Home Education in the State of Colorado.

She now serves as a teacher of teachers through her speaking and writing ministry. She is a regular columnist for Home School Enrichment Magazine and the CHEC Update. Her first book, Activity Days for Homeschool Groups and Families, was originally published in 2001 and revised and updated in 2010. Talent to Treasure: Building a Profitable Music Teaching Business was released in January 2009.

In addition to speaking regularly for homeschool support groups, she has been a featured speaker and keynote at events across the country. She was especially blessed to present the first-ever home education seminar to the Shuar people of the Eastern Ecuadorian jungle community of Makuma; she presented a follow-up seminar there for two weeks in 2010. Marcia has also been featured on Generations Radio with Kevin Swanson, a daily Christian Internet radio program heard in fifty states and thirty countries.

Marcia is available to speak to groups of all sizes, both nationally and internationally. Her topics include home management, parenting, home education, encouragement for moms, and teaching tips for private music teachers.

Please contact her at marcia@marciawashburn.com for further information, letters of reference, and a list of presentations she offers.

More about Homemade Convenience Foods: Have you ever wished you could spend more time with your family and less with your pots and pans?  Homemade Convenience Foods is a practical e-book that shows you how to break free from the kitchen and get tasty meals on the table in fifteen minutes or less—without using TV dinners or once-a-month cooking!  Recipes and techniques are included.

If you'd like to receive one of Marcia's helpful resources, Homemade Convenience Foods leave a comment {HERE} for your chance to win. (Don't forget to leave your email address!).

How do you define normal?

For me:

Mama!.
Smiles and cuddles.
Changing diaper #1.
Bottle.
Bath time.
Fresh clothes.
Play time.
"No, get out of the dog's water."
Baby Einstein.
Snacks.
More smiles.
DIRTY diaper.
"Isn't it time for nap yet?"
Crumpled magazines.
Pulled doggy tails.
Itsy-bitsy spider.
Reading time.
Nap!
Changing diaper #3
Lunch
Change of clothes
Play time
Books off bookshelf.
CDs out of holder.
"No, get out of dog's water."
Walk outside.
Diaper #4
Crazy baby.
Nap?
Yes, nap.
Bottle.
Diaper.
SMILES!!
Play with brother, sister, brother, sister-in-law
Snack.
"Helping" Mommy make dinner.
"No, stay out of the garbage."
Daddy's home!
Daddy songs, daddy snuggles.
Dinner.
Play time.
YAWN.
Daddy cuddles.
Diaper.
Wash up.
Pjs.
ZZZZ

That's what my 9-month old daughter considers normal, and that's my normal too. This normal was very different last year at this time. I spent most of my day writing, on email, reading.

The work's still getting down, but at different times, like nap times and after daddy gets home. And for some reason the work's not as vital as it seemed one year ago.

Some people ask me why I wanted to start again. Mostly because nothing is more fulfilling to love and serve you child ... especially when naps are still included.

Sometimes I need a bodyguard!

Last night we had an interesting dinner conversation. I needed to head to church to organize baby clothes for our Teen MOPS group. The conversation centered around who would go to church with me as my bodyguard--either my husband or one of my sons.

It ended up my that my husband went with me, but when I mentioned how crazy it was I needed a bodyguard to go to church my son commented, "You got to go where the people need you most, Mom."

You see, we attend a multi-ethnic church on the "bad side of town" in Little Rock. There are robberies and murders in that area often--we've seen the lights and heard the sirens. Some things are scary. At church I've been approached by drunk homeless men who needed a ride somewhere. Some things are just different.

Tonight I listened to the same Hispanic worship song being played over and over as I cleaned. 
(Someone must have been practicing for Sunday.) Somethings move me. 

I've visited the church while low income families were carting away boxes of food. Some things make me realize I can give me and be more than I thought. I've served at a Thanksgiving festival where I could only communicate with 1/2 of the kids who were playing the games with me.

And I love it!

My church in Montana was amazing ... but I felt very comfortable there. I was known. I belonged.

Most of the time at my new church I feel out of my comfort zone, yet I know God is with me every step of the way. There are people there who need me, even if it does mean I need to take a bodyguard with me on occasion.

What about you? Where in your real life do you feel God leading you into the scary, different, or uncomfortable world?

Preparing for your future husband ...

The best way you can prepare your heart for your future husband is to surrender everything in your life to God. To hold out your hands, palms up, and pray, “Lord, I'm yours.”

Take a few minutes and write down a summary of who you are. Write out all the things you like and dislike. Write out major events in your life—from as far back as you remember. Write down your happiest times and your saddest times. Write down your success and your failures. After you write all of this down, fold up this paper and place it in your hands, and then offer yourself up to God. Ask Him to take all of you. Then ask Him to show you what His purpose is for your life.

The best way to prepare your heart for God's is to be surrendered completely to Him.

Likewise, the best way to prepare your heart for your future husband is to be following God with all your heart. When you give all of your heart to God … in the amazing way God works ... you have even more to give to your future husband! More of your true self. And the more you see yourself through God's eyes, the better prepared you'll be for a lifelong commitment.

Finally, to be surrendered to God is to know Him, and the best way to know Him is to know His Word. Just like a servant is always listening to know what her master requires, we need to know what God asks of us.

Take a few minutes and write down some of your favorite Scripture passages. After you have written those out, set to work on memorizing them. Even one verse a week is great! As you hide God's Word in your heart you will become who He designed you to be because you'll know what He desires for you and your life!

Come see me at the MIDSOUTH Homeschool Convention and WIN tickets to Tim Hawkins!!!!

You are invited to hear MomLife Today Writers & Speakers at the MID SOUTH HOMESCHOOL CONVENTION in Memphis, TN

March 3 – 5, 2011 at the Memphis Cook Convention Center

 The MID SOUTH Homeschool Convention is sponsoring this great giveaway too:

• TWO (2) FAMILY REGISTRATIONS & TIM HAWKINS TICKETS

To enter just leave a comment (with your email address!) If selected as the winner (using random.org), you'll be notified via email. Winner announced 1/18/11.

Meet the MomLife Today Workshop Speakers
•    TRICIA GOYER
•    JULIA DesCARPENTRIE
•    TRACEY EYSTER
•    HEATHER HAWKINS

This outstanding homeschool convention features…

•    A HUGE Exhibit Hall – be sure to stop by the Mom Life Today booth
•    Comedian TIM HAWKINS – LIVE!
•    Nearly 250 information-packed workshops
•    WORLDVIEW Teen Track with John Stonestreet
•    PARENTING Track with John Rosemond
•    Extremely affordable registration

Other FEATURED SPEAKERS include:

Dr. Susan Wise Bauer, Dr. Jay Wile, Amanda Bennett, Attorney David Gibbs III, Ken Ham, Carol Barnier,  Mark Hamby, Jessie Wise, Jim Weiss, Susan Kemmerer, Michael Clay Thompson, Dr. Karen Gushta, Ed Zaccaro, Janice Campbell, and many more!

FUN…ENCOURAGING…INFORMATION-PACKED…  GREAT IDEAS…CURRICULUM SHOPPING…

For more information, please visit

www.MidSouthHomeschoolConvention.com

Confession

I sat in the back seat of my mom's car next to John. My mom had taken us to the nearest city to look for a family car. Our wedding date was only a few months away and a lot was on my mind. The car was the least of my worries.

I leaned my head on John's shoulder and my stomach burned, as if I'd just drunk bleach. My heart pounded and my chest ached. For weeks I'd felt I needed to tell John something … I needed to tell him about my greatest sin.

“John? Can I talk to you about something?”

He must have noticed the pain in my voice because he looked me with concern in his gaze. “What's wrong?”

“There's something I need to tell you, and I don't want you to hate me.”

His eyes widened. “I could never hate you.”

“Well, I hate myself, for what I've done ...” I swallow hard. “I had an abortion a few years ago. I'd been pregnant by Cory's dad once before, too, and ...” Silent sobs shook my shoulders and I buried my face in my hands.

“Oh, Tricia, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but I still love you.”

I nodded and buried my face in his chest.

John curled a finger under my chin. “Look at me.”

I shook my head. I didn't want to look. I didn't want to see the disappointment in his gaze. I didn't want him to see my tears.

“Tricia I need you to look at me.” His voice was firmer.

Finally, I wiped my tears with my fingertips and then dared to look up into his face. The thing was, I didn't see anger or accusations. I only saw love. A deep love I'd never know before.

“I still love you,” John said. “I still want to marry you. And we'll pray together that God will heal your heart.”

Seeing John's love overwhelmed me. I'd never experienced anything like that. For my whole life, it seemed, I always tried to do the right thing to make others happy. And when I wasn't doing the right things, I always tried to act like I was. I'd never been this transparent with anyone, and instead of rejection, I found love. It helped me understand that I thought the same way about God, too. I was afraid of being too open with Him. I didn't want to be a disappointment.

How about you? Are there areas of your life that you have a hard time letting people into. Are their things in your past that you're ashamed of?
The Bible tells us we need to “confess our faults to one another.” As hard as that can be, the more you deal with the pain and sin of your past the more prepared you will be for your future husband.

Retelling my story reminds me of Adam and Eve. You can read the story in Genesis, Chapter Three. Adam and Eve sinned by disobeying God, and when he came looking for them they hid. Too often I could relate to Adam and Eve. After my past relationships with guys I didn't want God to sin me. I didn't want to see the disappointed I expected to see in His face.

The thing was, I never really thought about this story from God's point-of-view until recently. God, of course, knew Adam and Even had sinned. He told them what not to do, and they did it. Since He is a holy God, He was disappointed, heartbroken. Yet He came to them. He was looking for them. He wanted to spend time with them, and He wanted Adam and Eve to come to Him.

Take a minute a write down the areas that you are hiding from God. What secret thoughts do you have that you don't want to share? What do you do that you wish He couldn't see?

Bring those things before God and know that He wants you to come to Him. He's been trying to woo you.
Pray Psalm 51:10 as a prayer, “Create in me a clean heart, Oh Lord.”

Now, the hard part. Find someone you know and trust and confess your sins to that person. Tell her what you've been struggling with—past and present. Also, ask this person (or another person you trust) to be your accountability partner. Go to your spouse. Truth makes all the difference and will strengthen your bonds in ways you'll never know until you experience it.

This week on Living Inspired: Love and Respect author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs!

To listen to the interview: go here and click on the player in the upper right corner of the screen. Thursday at 3:00 pm Central.

This week we'll be talking about love and marraige with my guest, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Eggerichs will be sharing wisdom from his latest release, Love and Respect for a Lifetime. Be sure to tune in Thursday at 3:00 PM Central.

For a chance to win a copy of this book, leave a comment {HERE} (along with your email address) and we'll select one random commenter to receive a copy of Love and Respect For A Lifetime!

About Love and Respect for a Lifetime (Thomas Nelson, $15.99): Dr. Emerson Eggerichs shares simple recipe for a lasting marriage: love and respect. The condensed gift book makes his complex message easy for spouses to share and implement in their daily lives.

“While women are most motivated by love, men are most motivated by respect,” he says. “It’s as simple and as complicated as that.”

In fact, a survey conducted by Love and Respect Ministries asked 7,000 people this question: “When you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected?”  Approximately 83 percent of the men said "disrespected" and 72 percent of the women said, "unloved." In his wildly popular Love and Respect, which sold more than one million copies worldwide, Dr. Eggerichsshares why the needs within a marriage are actually very simple – women need love and men need respect.

Based on three decades of counseling and scientific and biblical research, Dr. Eggerichs helps couples see how they unintentionally yet oftentimes break their spouse’s spirit. Husbands and wives will find keys to better communication, solutions to initiate change and simple methods to show love and respect that have been proven again and again. Presented in a light and practical way, Love and Respect for a Lifetime is an easy read towards a better marriage – on Valentine’s Day and everyday.

Countless couples have been positively affected by this deeply insightful yet practical approach to marriage. By simply changing your words and learning to speak your spouse’s language, you can improve your relationship dramatically and enjoy the happy and fulfilling marriage God intended.

For more information visit http://loveandrespect.com/

About the Author: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah travel the country conducting Love and Respect marriage conferences. Before launching Love and Respect Ministries, Dr. Eggerichs was senior pastor of Trinity Church in East Lansing, Michigan for nearly 20 years. He received his B.A. in Biblical Studies and his M.A. in Communications from Wheaton College and Graduate School. He was later awarded a Master of Divinity degree from Dubuque Seminary, and a Ph.D. in Child and Family Ecology from Michigan State University. Married since 1973, he and Sarah have three adult children. Dr. Eggerichs is the president of Love and Respect Ministries. 

Sometimes writers feel lonely ...

Many writers talk about writing being a lonely business. There's the "writing world" and the "real world." The writing world is made up of going to conferences a few times a year, maybe a few book signings, online communities, and chatting with editors/marketers/agents a few times a month. If that's all the interact you have ... that does sound lonely.

The real world is the people you live with, go to church with, and interact with in your community. Often these people have no idea that you write. They don't understand who you are, what you're passionate about, and the fact you're a little stressed because you have to write 2,000 words that day while they're most concerned about picking out the best avocados.

As a multi-published author, I actually find it refreshing when people don't know I'm a writer or understand my writing world. Just as important as my writing, I want to be known as a woman who's dedicated to my husband, is passionate about raising kids who love God, and who's active in impacting the lives of teenage mothers.

Years ago, when I was first published, I often got (secretly) offended when people didn't acknowledge my writing. Just in the last year I had someone I went to church with for 14 years say, "I didn't know you wrote books." I had to laugh. I'd interacted with that person through the years and they just saw me for me.

In my "real" life, I'm usually not the one who spills the beans that I write books. In my real life, I have friends who could care less about the fact I'm a writer. I also have friends who are walking the same path and we can talk about "the business" honestly. I appreciate both!

So for those of you writers who sometimes feel lonely ... my encouragement is to ask God to show you how to give and serve and love in ways that will make "real" life just as amazing and impacting as your writing world.

Two-Step Sanity Saver

Guest Blog by Mary Byers

Have you ever said yes to something, then wished you’d said no? Here’s a simple two-step process that will help prevent this in the future. When you’re asked to do something, simply ask two questions of your own in return:

1. What will it entail?
2. When do you need to know?

Make it a policy never to reply to something the moment you’re asked. Instead, practice “The Art of the Pause,” which buys you time to check your calendar—and your pulse--to determine if it’s really something you want to do. If it is, you can say yes. If it isn’t, you’ll have the time to determine the best way to pass on the opportunity without feeling pressured.

I began using this two-step sanity saver when my kids were young and demands on my time seemed overwhelming. I’m still using it years later in order to insure that I’ll be able to give my full attention to the things I say yes to. And, I’m using it to insure that when I need to say no, it’s done sensitively and carefully.

~~

Author Mary Byer's books, How to Say No ... and Live to Tell About It, The Mother Load and Making Work at Home Work, reflect Mary’s own philosophy of living a life that reflects your priorities. With wit, humor and insightfulness, Mary challenges you to take control of your circumstances, to become more confident in the roles that you play, and to discover new energy for the things that are important to you. For more information about Mary and her books, please visit her website at www.marybyers.com.

WORDS

credit: Dawn Westerberg

Real life means talking to people. Some of the people I've talked to today include my husband, my kids, the receptionist at the doctor's office, the nurse, the doctor, our apartment manager ... okay, you get the idea.

Words matter. Words can build up or break down. Words can inspire or crush. Words can make us cry both tears of joy and of pain.

Most of the time we speak to communicate, but is it possible to also encourage as we chat?

Words that bring encouragement are:

thank you
I love you
you did a great job
I'm proud of you
you are so smart
you made me smile
I knew you could do it

These words can be inserted into most conversation for great results.

Words come from our lips and they work even better if our lips are turned upward as we speak. Eye contact also helps, and a gentle touch where appropriate.

I wasn't thinking about my words when I started today, and looking back I think I did a pretty good job with them. I've been pleasant. I said thank you. I wasn't too grumpy, even when big kids messed up my clean house.

But I know I can do better. This happens when I use specific words labeled, "prayer." God can help us with our words and our smiles. All we have to do is ask.

And that's another great way to use our words--to remind ourselves Who can help us speak better ... and Who we're representing with every syllable.

These words start with a phrase that's wise to use often: Dear Jesus.

And they end with one word that means a lot. Amen. Let it be so.

First Kiss

Have you always thought about your first kiss? A first kiss symbolizes attraction—someone desires you and you desire that person in return. And you, of course, want to be desired. We all do. In a world with billions and billions of people you want to be noticed, especially by a special guy.

The problem is that the longings of our hearts sometimes get in the way of our common sense. You may know at thirteen or sixteen or even eighteen that you're not ready to get married. You may know that the guy you're getting close to wouldn't be husband material even if you were ready. But the emotions are shouting louder than your common sense. Your heart pounds, your palms sweat … this has to be a good thing, right? Then you start to justify. All your friends are doing it, so why shouldn't you?

There's another problem too. Kisses have been cheapened by society. Watch any tween series like iCarly or Drake and Josh and you'll see boys kissing girls and girls kissing boys with abandon. On shows for teens and adults they go farther than that very quickly. It maybe the same way at your school. A kiss is just a kiss … or is it?

I personally know of one young couple who waited until their wedding day for their first kiss. The tension was high in the ceremony … everyone wanted to see the culmination of all their waiting, and we weren't disappointed. I know the couple wasn't disappointed either. Love, tenderness and excitement filled the room. We observers couldn't help but smile and cheer.

And that's one problem about giving away kisses to easily. Sometimes you're disappointed when the perfect moment is given away to a guy who doesn't cherish you. Most of the time there is regret. Every kiss is giving away a part of yourself. A part of your heart.

If you have already given away more kisses than you'd like to admit, you can choose today to make a change. Consider your lips as something precious to be cherished. Like Barlow Girls sing, “what if your prince comes riding in while you're kissin' a frog?” And if you believe you have found your prince, waiting will only make the kiss more special when it does happen.

Ask Jesus to help you be strong. Also ask Jesus to help your future husband to be strong to. In a world where there is a lot of temptation, your future husband needs all the prayers you can offer.

Another thing … don't stop praying. The amazing thing about prayer is that God has designed this system to release the power of heaven for that person or situation. Think of your prayers as the garage door opener that lifts heaven's gates and sends reinforcement and strength to your future husband. You may not know him. You may have never seen him, but your prayers will make a different in his life. Think about a time when you can pray regularly. There is no greater habit than a habit of prayer.

I've made it a habit to pray when I first open my eyes in the morning. I also write out prayers in my journal during my morning quiet time, and I pray in the shower too. These three “prayer moments” started by me doing it one day and then the next and then the next. Pick a time and a place where you can commit to prayer, too … and then make it a habit! Someday, when you do meet your future husband, you just might be amazed by how much your prayers sustained his life and protected His heart … for you.

Guest blog from the Ugandan Mission Field:

My friend Loring and her family are missionaries in the slums of Uganda. Her recent post on the things that make her happy was great and she said I could repost it here. Find out more about their ministry here. And be sure to check out her amazing post on Generosity.

Things that Make Me Happy by Loring Morris.

1. Obviously Jesus.  Missionaries + Jesus = LOVE.  It's a fact.

2. Rope holders back home.   You know who you are.  You "hold the rope" financially, prayerfully, emotionally, and sacrificially for us.  Our families especially.  Mom and Dad on both sides:  You didn't ask for us to take the grandkids and leave during your golden years but we did and we have given you no choice but to accept it.  Which you've done graciously.  Friends...the same to you.

3. Facebook.  Ridiculous to mention it but really, Facebook you have kept us connected to everyone we love.  Thanks for social networking.  I can't imagine how Hudson Taylor managed without it.

4. Blogs that make me feel better about myself.  Jamie the Very Worst Missionary...hats off to you.  You blog about things that I think but never say out loud.  Well, sometimes I do but usually not to the world.  Thanks for putting a smile on my face and making me laugh when I realize that no one is a perfect missionary.  Everyone who is a missionary on the foreign field should google this blog...hilarious, offensive and totally true.  Thank you Jamie the Very Worst Missionary for inspiring me to be honest in my blogs and not sugar coat mission work.

5. Other missionary friends.  I have awesome friends named Sam and Dawn Wills who have just had their third baby and are leaving next week to join up with Mission Aviation Fellowship and move to the Congo!  Watching other people go through what we went though is cathartic and exciting!  Then there is my friend "The Bunny Lady" here in Uganda.  We can drink coffee together complain our hearts out about the crazy nuances of Ugandan culture and bond in the shared experience of living in Kampala.  A true friend will castrate your bunnies for you and then go shopping with you.  (She is a vet...) I find that some of my closest friends right now are ones who have walked the same road with me and understand how thrilling and difficult this journey is.  Too many to mention but you know who you are. (Banjo Sally and Meridah...you top the list)

6. Seasons 1-3 of the Office, and other entertainment.  Enough said.  (Even UFC has become somewhat interesting to watch and I can draw a few parallels between mission work and UFC...)

7. Running and Taekwondo.  I have already blogged about my new love/hate for running.  I'm a total running junkie.  But it has given me such a great way to shake off the many irritations I find here and to clear my head.  And it has the added benefit of counteracting the hoards of chicken and chips, matooke, cinnamon rolls and coke I consume weekly.  Taekwondo has done wonders for my kids and my husband.  All four of them are kicking machines and even though there is a new level of violence in our home they are all healthier and happier.

8.  Swimming pools and Dee Dee's world.  The fact that I can swim on almost any given day of the year in tropical weather definitely adds to the enjoyment of living in Uganda.  So what if you see men swimming in their underwear most days and questionable cleanliness of the pools?  I love swimming pools and will probably never be able to live anywhere where I can't have access to one again.  Dee Dee's world is the sad pathetic equivalent to Disneyland for my kids.  A mediocre amusement park where half the rides don't work and the people who work there usually have to woken up to turn a ride on.   The kids love it and it only costs $1.50.  What could be better?  (Ok...maybe Disneyland would be better but my kids don't know what they are missing)

9.  My husband.  Maybe I should have put him higher up on the list but he knows I couldn't be here without him.  No body makes me laugh harder or makes me mad faster.  Having him to vent to, to laugh with is priceless.  Here's to you Hubs!

10. Ukrainian co-workers.  Who else would I make fun of if not for you guys?  Thanks for being my punching bag more than once and for saying crazy things in broken English that will forever immortalize my time in Uganda.  "In Face".  And the "bearded lady" jokes never get old.

11.  Home churches and new churches. Easthaven Baptist is our home church in Montana.  They are supportive and have showered us with love and prayers.  We are amazed at your love for us!  Vintage 21 in North Carolina...you have offered such wisdom and friendship that we can't even begin to appreciate you enough.  How God linked us all together is amazing and we are blessed...blessed I tell you!

12. Bunnies.  Bunnies make me really really happy.  Silly, irrational, little girl happy.  My three bun buns begging for food every morning make me smile and talk in a stupid annoying high pitched voice when I talk to them.  Everyone should have a bunny.  Or eat them...they are tasty.  (We don't eat our pets...we eat Kostya's bunnies.  Don't worry)

13.  Food.  I'm just sayin'.  Matooke, you know I'm talking about you.

14. People who read my blog.  You obviously don't have anything better to do than to listen to my ramblings and I can respect that.  Thanks for the emotional support!

So there you go...13 things that make me smile.  Quit reading mine and write your own.  What makes you smile?  What are you thankful for?

“So, why did you ask me out?”

“So, why did you ask me out?” I asked John one day a few months after we'd started dating.

“Well, I noticed you in church right away. A pregnant seventeen-year-old can't hide very easily.” He laughed.

“Hey, thanks a lot.” I punched him on his shoulder. My eighteenth birthday had come just two weeks after having Cory and though eighteen felt “older” I still had a hard time believing I was a mom.

“Yeah, but all joking aside, I was attracted to you because you just glowed. I could see God's love coming through you.”

“Really?” I smiled. “Probably because I was so happy. I'd fallen so low and God came in and changed everything. He gave me hope.”

“Yes, I could tell. The difference was quite remarkable.”

“Difference?” I looked to him intrigued.

John lowered his head and bit his lip slightly as if he was trying to figure out what he wanted to say. Finally he took in a deep breath.

“Well, this year wasn't the first time I saw you. It was a couple of years ago. I was on weekend leave from the military and I'd come up to visit my parents. You were at church with your mom.”

“It must have been Easter or Christmas,” I chuckled. “Those were the only times I darkened the door of the church.”

“Yes, well, I remembered turning in my seat and finding you sitting behind me. Immediately I felt lightheaded and my stomach flipped. I thought you were the must beautiful girl I'd ever met.”

“Really?” My jaw dropped. “You're just making that up.”

“No, I'm not. I even talked to my mom about you. I asked 'Who is that girl with Linda?' She told me, “That's Linda's daughter, Tricia, but stay away from her. She's bad news.”

“She said that?” My eyes widened.

“Yeah.” John shrugged, and so I stayed away.

“Well, she was right. I was trouble.”

“But she's seen the change, too.” John pulled me into a hug. “She can't wait to have you as part of the family now.”

It amazed me that the pastor's wife who once told John to stay away from me because I was trouble was now welcoming me into their family with open arms. Her prayers, when I was first pregnant, had worked—even though I hadn't wanted her to pray them over me. Her matchmaking had also worked, and John and I had went on a date, and we'd fallen in love.

That night as I lay in bed I thought about John's words. It made me smile to think of me glowing. On the outside my circumstances hadn't changed. At the time I had still been pregnant. I was still taking community classes. My baby's biological father and my friends were still out of the picture, but inside everything changed. I was now attuned to God's heart.

Before I was looking for someone to love me. Later, because I knew God loved me, I opened my mind and heart to who He had for me. I had been trying so desperately to find love and God gave me His love, which filled me up like no other love could. I wanted someone to spend my life with, and when I trusted God with my prayers He brought me someone who loved me and my son.

Also, as I grew in my relationship with God and John my ideas of what I wanted to “get” out of a relationship changed. I stopped thinking about what I could get. Instead I started to think about what I could give. I wanted to give love, and attentiveness, and consideration. I wanted to be joyful and hopeful and peaceful. It wasn't an easy process but after John proposed to me I wanted to be the type of wife he could be proud of, and the type of child who would point others to Jesus. I wanted to change.

What I discovered during the months that John and I were engaged was that I'd spent many years trying to find the right person to love me, but I'd done little to become lovable. I was thankful John accepted me as I was, but I wanted to be more, do more. I wanted to enter a marriage knowing that I wasn't afraid to see my weakness and accept it. And also, that I wasn't too prideful to roll up my sleeves and ask God to help me do something about my shortcomings.

This week on Living Inspired: Bo Caldwell

To listen to the interview: go here and click on the player in the upper right corner of the screen. Thursday at 3:00 pm Central.

Welcome to 2011! I'm super excited about the guests we'll be interviewing this year. The schedule is being finalized and we'll publish that soon.

My guest this week is Bo Caldwell. She is the author of The Distant Land of My Father, and the granddaughter of missionaries in Shanghai, China. We'll be talking about her latest book, City of Tranquil Light, a novel about a young couple whose marriage and faith are put to the test in revolutionary China. Bo has based this book on her grandparents. Fascinating.

Leave a comment [HERE] for a chance to win your copy of Bo's book! Don't forget to leave your email address.

More about Bo: Bo Caldwell is the author of the national bestseller The Distant Land of My Father. Her short fiction has been published in Ploughshares, Story, Epoch, and other literary journals. A former Stegner Fellow in Creative Writing at Stanford University, she lives in Northern California with her husband, novelist Ron Hansen.

“A luminous slice of place and time. . . a sensory experience. . .  Historical fiction fans, those who appreciate missionary stories, and those who enjoy a good novel will find City of Tranquil Light an absorbing, engaging read.” – Christianity Today

More about City of Tranquil Light: "What ardent, dazzling souls emerge from these American missionaries in China . . . A beautiful, searing book that leaves an indelible presence in the mind." —Patricia Hampl, author of The Florist's Daughter

Will Kiehn is seemingly destined for life as a humble farmer in the Midwest when, having felt a call from God, he travels to the vast North China Plain in the early twentieth-century. There he is surprised by love and weds a strong and determined fellow missionary, Katherine. They soon find themselves witnesses to the crumbling of a more than two-thousand-year-old dynasty that plunges the country into decades of civil war. As the couple works to improve the lives of the people of Kuang P'ing Ch'eng— City of Tranquil Light, a place they come to love—and face incredible hardship, will their faith and relationship be enough to sustain them?

Told through Will and Katherine's alternating viewpoints—and inspired by the lives of the author's maternal grandparents—City of Tranquil Light is a tender and elegiac portrait of a young marriage set against the backdrop of the shifting face of a beautiful but torn nation. A deeply spiritual book, it shows how those who work to teach others often have the most to learn, and is further evidence that Bo Caldwell writes "vividly and with great historical perspective".

What does God really want from me?

There are few places more beautiful than a European cathedral. I've been to many in The Czech Republic and Austria and each one is amazing in its own way.

Every time I'd enter a cathedral, I'd stand there amazed, appreciative and saddened. Amazed that humans could create architecture and artwork so beautiful. Appreciative that in a time when few people read, that the church embarked on building projects that would give people a glimpse of the majesty of God. (At least they tried.) Saddened because despite their efforts the paintings, the gold sculptures, and the ornate dwelling place didn't do God justice. Not only is His big toe grander than anything man could create, He never wanted His house to be a building. He longs for us--our bodies--to be His temple.

1 Cor 6:19-20, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

There is something even sadder than the fact that men had spent hundreds of years, and a tons of currency, to build these exquisite temples in their desire to please God. The saddest thing is that they're empty. In the time they were built, not every man--only those of high standing--could enter them. And now they are mere tourist destinations. Some, like St. Vitus Cathedral in Prague are full daily, but not of worshippers. The people mulling around are those impressed with the art--not God who the art tried to represent.

In fact, out of the entire country of The Czech Republic. Less than 1% of people there claim to be Christian. That number scares me. At least their ancestors believed in God--even though their efforts to build great cathedrals meant far less than dedicating their hearts to Him. At least in their history there were amazing men, like Jan Hus, who tried to share the truth.

There are few places more beautiful than a European cathedral, and there are few things sadder than a country filled with cathedrals that have become tourist attractions and little more. It makes me think of my own life, my own Christian traditions. Do I do what I do out of my heart--deep, deep in my heart? Or are my efforts simply building up something to look at--something empty, meaningless, and a poor representation of the real thing. What does God really want from me?

It's something to think about.

You are important. I believe in you.

As I sat down to do my devotions on Christmas morning God put this on my heart. I'm not sure of why today of all days, perhaps because as we celebrate a baby born for the purpose of saving our souls, God's heart aches for all the young women who need to hear the hope of this Gift they've been given.

Volunteering as a mentor for teenage mothers, I've heard more heartbreaking stories than I've ever wished to know. Most of the young moms were raised without fathers at home. Some were sexually molested by family members. There are young women who live in poverty, who wonder where they'll get their next meal. All of them have other worries too, like how'll they'll finish school, where they can get diapers, if their boyfriend will ever care that he has a child, or if she'll ever find the love she's looking for--the love she tried to find by giving away her body and her heart.

Just a few months ago as I talked to a few of these girls about their dreams for the future, one young woman told me, "I just want someone to love me for me." I could see emptiness in her eyes as she said those words. Still in high school, she already had two children. She'd attempted to get love but end up with babies to raise and a broken heart instead. My heart aches for her.

There are times the needs are overwhelming. These girls need help with their education, with their parents, with knowing how to be a mom. They need money for shoes. They need food. They need a ride to the doctor's. They need someone who will believe in them, not scream into their faces and say, "You've messed everything up now!"

Meeting with these young women only once a week, myself and the other mentors that come alongside me aren't able to solve all their problems. We'll never be able to even if we spent every day trying. What we can do is provide the diapers we can, the food we get access to, the open arms and encouragement every young woman needs.

We can look these young women in the eye and say, "You are important. I believe in you. You are the only mom your baby has, and you can be a great one!"

And there's something else we do every meeting. We tell them about Jesus. We share about how He's transformed our lives. We tell about His love.

I've stood before the group of young women--and talked to them personally--many times. I've shared about how I was a 17-year-old pregnant teen and found hope in Christ. They believe me when I talk. They've met my amazing husband and kids. They often read the books I've written. They can see that things worked out. And in my story they find a glimmer of hope that maybe there's hope for their lives, too.

Some of the young women are still looking for that hope. I know of one young woman that's died, and I can only pray she's with Jesus now. There are many still seeking--a roomful of young teen moms every Thursday night is evidence of that.

There are also those who have found Jesus. They've given their hearts to Him, and their boyfriends have too. They've gotten married, have bought houses, have finished school, and are amazing moms. Some of my former teen moms are teaching Sunday school and leading Bible Studies. One was interviewed on K-LOVE and has spoken at large events, talking about how Jesus has transformed her life. They have hope, and have found salvation in Christ, and because of that, their lives—and their eternities—will never be the same.

When I first came to Little Rock, I knew I wanted to start a support group up again. I knew few people, wasn't connected to a church (yet), and didn't know how it would be possible. God led my family to an amazing church that was excited about the ministry. Through word of mouth, and key people in the community, women heard about this group and signed up to help and to mentor, to provide meals for meetings and to buy diapers. In a few short months, we've filled a room with leaders and girls. We've also even gotten a strong Christian man on board to mentor the young men, the “baby-daddies,” as these young women like to call them.

I have no doubt over the weeks to come I'll hear more heartbreaking stories. I also have no doubt over the weeks and months to come these young women are going to get help and hope—and the best hope they'll ever receive is the good news about an eternal relationship with Jesus Christ.

In all the years I've mentored teen moms, I've never send out an appeal, but today God won't let me rest until I do. Even more than I, He sees the need. Even more than mine, His heart breaks and He has compassion for “the least of these.” Yet where my vision fails, His goes on. He not only sees the need, He understands how these needs can be met. He sees your part in it too.

In Pulaski County, there are 700 teens who have babies ever year. Right now our group has 11 young moms, and every week we see a new face. The most recent one is sixteen years old and due to have twins in two months. Our hands are full trying to meet the needs of 11. We never have enough diapers, wipes, baby clothes, or furniture. Yet we've had enough to help. And I know as our group grows God will provide.

I'm not going to ask for anything specific. I'll leave that to God to speak to your heart. Perhaps you'll be called to pray or to give from yourself in other ways. Whatever you feel led to, you know how to reach me. Also, if God brings a young mom into your life in the next year, I pray you'll do want many won't … you'll open your life and your heart to her. Because of that, her life, and the life of her child, may be forever changed.