Guest post by Christina Berry author of The Familiar Stranger
The chorus of Brandon Heath's song I'm Not Who I Was keeps running through my mind.
I used to be the go-to parent volunteer. Now I'm working in the schools.
I used to be the stay-at-home mom. Now I'm the barely-home mom.
I used to be the wife with the perfect house and the smile and open arms for her husband at the end of his hard workday. Now I manage the house as best as I can and save my smiles and hugs for my children ... at the end of my hard workday.
I used to bake and cook meals with multi-step recipes. Now I put the healthiest thing I can on the table using the least effort and money.
I used to pay the bills. Now I make the money or the bills don't get paid, but I still have to find the time to pay them.
I used to leave "the providing" up to my spouse while I provided the comfort and support and love to the family. Now I do both.
I used to submit and serve. Now I lead and decided and bear the responsibility.
It hit me the other day--the enormity of what I'm doing. What I couldn't be doing without my family and friends supporting me.
None of what I'm doing is inherently bad. I find joy in a lot of it, like substitute teaching. The changes happening in me are refining and honing me, but the stakes are so much higher now.
I realized that the kids will always have a different mother. I am not the same woman I was a year and a half ago, nor the same woman I would have been at this time without the divorce. But God knew that was coming, which means I'm closer to the woman He is making me to be.
I used to be the stay-at-home mom. Now I'm the barely-home mom.
I used to be the wife with the perfect house and the smile and open arms for her husband at the end of his hard workday. Now I manage the house as best as I can and save my smiles and hugs for my children ... at the end of my hard workday.
I used to bake and cook meals with multi-step recipes. Now I put the healthiest thing I can on the table using the least effort and money.
I used to pay the bills. Now I make the money or the bills don't get paid, but I still have to find the time to pay them.
I used to leave "the providing" up to my spouse while I provided the comfort and support and love to the family. Now I do both.
I used to submit and serve. Now I lead and decided and bear the responsibility.
It hit me the other day--the enormity of what I'm doing. What I couldn't be doing without my family and friends supporting me.
None of what I'm doing is inherently bad. I find joy in a lot of it, like substitute teaching. The changes happening in me are refining and honing me, but the stakes are so much higher now.
I realized that the kids will always have a different mother. I am not the same woman I was a year and a half ago, nor the same woman I would have been at this time without the divorce. But God knew that was coming, which means I'm closer to the woman He is making me to be.
Christina Berry writes about the heart and soul of life with twists of humor and intrigue. A single/foster/adoptive mother, she holds a BA in Literature, yet loves a good Calculus problem as well. Her well-received debut novel, The Familiar Stranger (Moody ’09), a finalist for both the 2010 Christy Award and ACFW Carol Award, deals with lies, secrets, and forgiveness in a troubled marriage. A moving speaker and dynamic teacher, Christina strives to Live Transparently--Forgive Extravagantly. Find out more about her at www.christinaberry.net
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment