Love In Action (part 1)

Show your children that even the smallest acts of kindness count!

The chiming clock announced it was time to leave for church, and I was far from ready. Seeing my crazed preparations, my husband offered to iron my clothes for me. Our 3-year-old daughter, the connoisseur of conversation, approached him.

"Are you ironing your shirt, Daddy?" she asked.

"No, I'm ironing Mommy's shirt."

"Oh, did you think it was your shirt?" A small giggle escaped her lips. "That's silly."

"No, I knew it was Mommy's shirt," he said.

A puzzled expression crossed my daughter's face. "Then why are you doing that?"

"Because your mommy is a special person, and I like to help her," he answered.

"Oh," she happily replied, then skipped out of the room. "I'm going to go help my brother."
Be an Example

As our children's first teachers, we know that little eyes keep track of our every move. Even as you complete the most mundane tasks around the house, your kids are watching. Later, you may find your little imitator chattering into a plastic phone, cooking up meals in toy pots or pounding with "tools."

We know that our children imitate not only our actions, but our attitudes. And that can have its downside. We've all had those "Oh no" moments when we hear our children scold their siblings or friends in a tone we know they learned from us. But on the positive side, that same propensity to imitate can serve us well as we try to model, and in turn teach, an attitude of kindness and cheerful servanthood.

We all try to do nice things for our spouses and children. But even more important than what we do is how we act. The difference between "doing things" and "serving others" is a matter of attitude.

Think about the last time you cooked a meal or folded laundry. How did you feel about serving your family in this way? Were you glad to do it or did you feel resentful that you were stuck with this mundane chore? Naturally, none of us has a cheerful servant's heart all day, every day. But if we want our children to willingly reach out to others and show kindness and compassion, it's essential that they see us doing the same.
Make the Connection

To translate your example of servanthood into something your child can start doing intentionally, you'll need to help your child make the connection between action and attitude.

Your always-observant preschooler may seem to be an endless source of questions and curiosity. You can take advantage of her inquisitiveness to teach kindness. When she asks, "What are you doing?" instead of answering "I'm cooking," say, "I'm making dinner for you and Daddy because I love you."

Instead of saying "I'm working on the car," answer, "I'm fixing a problem so our family will be safe." This shows your child that what you do is not as important as the people you're doing it for.

(part 2 will run next Saturday)

Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit, Experiencing Grace blog tour!

I'd like to share about a special project - The Pearl Girls™. Like the oyster, we go about our everyday lives until the unexpected happens. Yet God's grace covers our pain and transforms it into a beautiful pearl. Pearl Girls™ is a book of real life stories from women contributors (Debbie Macomber, Shaunti Feldhahn, Lisa Jefferson, Robin Jones Gunn, Melody Carlson, and many more) about how God used something difficult in their lives to work good.



This book was compiled by my friend Margaret McSweeney (below far left). She founded Pearl Girls a few years back to help fund the work of two charities that help women and children here in the states and in African villiages. She's donating 100% of the royalties from book sales to WINGS and HANDS OF HOPE.

Last summer I attended the Pearl Girl Tea in Denver - what a treat to gather with old friends and meet new ones!



The essay I contributed to the book is called, "God's Plan... Not Mine."

"When God made it clear that He wanted me to help young women facing crisis pregnancies, it wasn't about how successful I could become in life. Instead, God's plan was about what He wanted to do in the world around me."


Check out more of the photos from the Tea here (Robin Jones Gunn, Gary Chapman and his wife, Beth Adams (Guideposts), my fab agent Janet Kobobel-Grant, Kim Woodhouse, and many more!

Buy Pearl Girls here and then post your own "pearl" here!

Pearl Girls from Michael J Garvey on Vimeo.

Married with Children...Part 2

(read part 1 here)

A Plan and a Purpose!

“Marriage is a purposeful relationship. All research indicates that an intimate marriage provides the safest and most productive climate for raising children,” writes Gary Chapman, author of The Four Seasons of Marriage. The more time parents spend talking about issues, taking parenting classes, and providing a united front, the more purposeful their parenting. They can come up with a plan and help each other implement it.

Husbands and wives also bring unique input and insight, depending on how they were raised and the type of resources they turn to for advice.

Parents today are becoming better educated about the needs of their children and being more intentional about their parenting. They make more sacrifices and work harder at building relationship with their kids than the parents of Xers did, resulting in closer relationship between N-Geners and their parents.

Of course, joining together as a team is sometimes easier said than done. Dr. John Roseman writes, “Today’s typical wife, as soon as she becomes a parent, begins to act as if she took a marriage vow that read, ‘I take you to be my husband, until children do us part.’”
I remember a time not too long ago when a wife who became a mother remained first and foremost a wife. Whether they had children or not, women who worked outside the home were referred to as “working wives,” and women who worked in the home were “housewives.”
But a change has occurred in the language we use to describe a woman’s employment status. Today, a woman who stays home with her children is called a “working mom” or “stay-at-home mom.” Some consider this an improvement, but I think it reflects a dangerous shift in focus from wife to mother. In other words, societal attention has moved away from the marriage and onto the children.

Roseman goes on to say: “This shift came about largely because America shifted to a self-esteem based child-rearing philosophy, and women became persuaded that the mother who paid the most attention to and did the most for her child was the best mom of them all.”

I watch this perception play out in the lives of many women I know. Gen-Xers are very focused on their children—sometimes to the point of sacrificing their marriages. And I know firsthand, because for many years I placed more emphasis on my role as mom than my role as wife. My time, energy, devotion went to the kids first, and John got the leftovers.

It wasn’t until the kids were in middle school that I realized the best thing I can do for my kids is to love their dad. Their very lives depend upon the strength of our relationship; if it crumbles, their world does too.

Additionally, the way John and I interact serves as our children’s model for marriage. In fact, the type of marriage I have with John is most likely the kind my kids will have too. That’s huge.

(repost from 4/08)

Writing Hero Stories part 1

Over the summer I was looking through photos for my new website and I came across photos of the veterans I interviewed for my novels for Moody Publishing. As I looked at the photos of these elderly men, all now in their 80s, one word came to mind. Heroes.

I believe a hero is someone who is willing to serve his/her country. A hero is willing to put his life on the line for the protection of others. To consider others above oneself. To understand that ideals are worth fighting for. Someone who has both the strength and smarts to fight well.

When I started writing fiction, soldiers, pilots and even prisoners of war were the heroes in my novels. Why? Everyone loves a man or woman in uniform! More than that, readers love to connect with people who are willing to answer the call of duty. Also, since most readers have no experienced the military themselves they love experiencing military service through the characters’ lives. Not only do they get to read a good story, they learn more about history and about military service, too.

So what characteristics are necessary for a military hero in fiction? These are the ones I settled on: Boldness, a call to duty, honor, and a sense of justice. They also must be decisive, courageous, and seasoned. Sometimes the "seasoning" happens in the course of the book, but by the end of every novel the hero knows what he’s fighting for—not just with his mind, but also with his heart.

Do you know a hero? Tell me about him/her in the comment field and I’ll draw a name for a free book!

Tis' the Season - Almost!

A Memory in the Making: You don’t have to be a perfect parent to have a perfectly great time!

STOP. REWIND. Let’s try this one again, I thought, only wishing it were possible. My idea for creating a wonderful memory wasn’t turning out as planned. The fun cookie-bake I had imagined was ending with dough-covered children and a goo-smeared dining room carpet. “Just go clean up, and I’ll finish the rest,” I told the kids, frustrated with the mess.

“But . . .” the chorus of three responded. “This is fun!”

Fun? Bickering over cookie cutters and dough territory is fun?

My mind flashed to a haloed image of happy children singing Christmas Carols as they cut and sprinkled cookies. My kids weren’t following my ideal, but a memory was in the making all the same. I was left with only one alternative: making the most of the sticky situation. I had to lick the dough off my fingers and put my best (flour-sprinkled) foot forward. Here are five strategies that worked for me:

Check Your Attitude
Though usually not a parent’s first response to a family fiasco, gratitude is essential. Once I stopped long enough to find something good about my situation, I didn’t feel quite as sorry for myself. After all, I was spending time with my kids. And they did look kind of cute covered in cookie dough.

We can show our children we are thankful for the opportunity to be with them—even if things aren’t going according to plan. Brainstorm with your children and discover ways to make the event more enjoyable for everyone.

After talking with my kids, we decided we just needed to get organized. The children divided the remaining cookie dough into three sections then took turns rolling and cutting out the cookies. They each had one-on-one time with me (which made them happy), and the dining room survived intact (which made me happy).

Create the Atmosphere
When gauging the atmosphere of your time together, look at it through your children’s eyes. Ask yourself, “Is this the memory I want to give them?” If it isn’t, change it.

I decided I wanted to be remembered as a fun mom, not a grouch. Since the kids were already having fun, I was the one in need of an attitude adjustment. Amazingly, the atmosphere immediately took a turn for the better after that.
Bend Over Backwards
I’ve heard it said, “Rigid people are brittle and break easily.” It’s a catchy phrase, but being flexible takes a lot more bending then most parents, including me, enjoy. The first exercise in flexibility is turning that frown into a smile, or better yet, turning that sigh into laughter. In his book, ¬Hugs for Moms, John William Smith says, “Who can remedy a deplorable situation? What weaponry will you use to stop this rushing wall of tension that threatens all of mankind? Laughter. You find the humor in the moment, and you laugh.”

The second exercise in flexibility is stepping out of your comfort zone. I often have to remind myself that life doesn’t fall apart if things don’t turn out the way we’ve planned. By throwing away the agenda, parents are free to go with the flow and even follow their children’s lead. As a result, I’ve discovered even odd-shaped cookies taste great.

Adapt Your Expectations
Sometimes the only problem with memory-making is the parent’s expectations. Make sure yours approximate reality and then focus on what your children are doing right. I found rolling up my sleeves and getting busy offering help and encouragement was exactly what was needed. My hands were covered with dough, but the situation was much less sticky from then on.

My unfulfilled expectations weren’t nearly as disheartening when I took time to focus on my children’s delight. No amount of perfectly baked cookies could ever replace that.

Shape Future Smiles
In her book, The Family Manager, Kathy Peels says, “Memories. We talk about them as though we have a choice of whether or not to make them. We act as if circumstances of life are like disappearing ink—only there for a moment. We forget our children’s minds are like computer disks—constantly recording information. Who’s to know which memories will be erased and which will be indelibly etched in their minds?”

Our days our filled with events that will be forever remembered. The question is, will they also be forever cherished? I hope to look back someday at all the family flops with a smile or even a laugh—recalling those moments when fiascoes were turned into fun memories. I wonder what type of memories will cling to my children? Hopefully one memory will be of their mother’s dough-covered, flour-splattered smile.

Remember When . . .
To get an idea of what things mean the most to your children, think about some of your own favorite memories.

1. What was your favorite pastime as a child?
2. Think about one special memory about each of your siblings.
3. What was your favorite meal?
4. What were some of the most memorable books you read?
5. Think of one particularly memorable event.
6. What scent or sound immediately takes you back to childhood?
7. What meaningful advice did you receive from an adult?
8. Think about someone who influenced your life profoundly.
9. Think about your proudest moment.

Now share these memories with your child. Then ask him to do the same. Your memory exchange will be unforgettable!

(photo courtesy of Athena Magazine)

The Swiss Courier blog tour!

Welcome to the blog tour forThe Swiss Courier!

The schedule is posted below - check out what the reviewers are saying!

CONTEST (and this includes CHOCOLATE!)
Pst...pass it on! Help Spread the word about #SwissCourier on Twitter and enter to win a signed copy & Swiss Chocolate!

Just tweet this: The Swiss Courier by @triciagoyer fast paced and suspenseful! Don't miss out! http://tr.im/Ahjs RT #swisscourier

and you'll be entered into a drawing for 1 of 5 SIGNED copies of The Swiss Courier and some Swiss Chocolate!

More info about the book here!

10/19
Lena Nelson at a Christian Writer's World
Interview with Tricia and her co-author Mike Yorkey!

Ruth at Christian Fiction Queen

The Swiss Courier is proving to be a spectacular read! It's a compulsive page-turner, and so far I'd rank it among the very best World War II fiction I've ever encountered (and since that's by far my favorite time period to study, for me that's saying something!).

Nicole at Gidget Goes Home
As soon as I started the book I was hooked.

10/20
Becky at In the Pages!

Tricia Goyer and Mike Yorkey DO NOT disappoint! What a great, fast-paced read - you will be hooked from the start and learn something along the way.

Sunny at That Book Addiction
I was thrown into the story and wondering how the characters were going to get out of each situation and hoping their missions succeeded despite unimaginable kinks thrown their way. Loved the ending!

Denise at Under the Boardwalk
If you like suspense, intrigue, spies, action and a bit of romance, you will love this book. It hooked me from the first page and had me riveted to the end.

Amy at Amy’s Random Thoughts
I totally recommend reading this or getting it for a friend. This book took me to another time and another place and the characters were so real.

10/21
Heather at Mumblings of a Mommy Monk
What a treat (kind of like Swiss dark chocolate)! I enjoyed this unique perspective on stories from that time in history and the realistic internal struggles the main character faces. I don't think I've read anything from the perspective of a Swiss (neutral) national being involved in the war or about the building of the atomic bomb. The historical elements tied together with the real life experiences made this book a fun read.

Melody at Kids, Cakes, Dishes, Laundry…In That Order
When I read the preface of the book and recognized the story of Valkyrie, I was immediately drawn in. The story of Gabi Mueller takes place after the failed Valkyrie endeavor, and is immediately both gripping and heart-warming. Her job is dangerous and full of plot twists and surprises that keep you guessing, and turning page after page with very little regard for the laundry piles in the next room, or the dishes stacked next to the kitchen sink.... ahem.

Pam at Without Fear
Wow! I haven't read a book in awhile that pulled me into its pages like a magnet. The Swiss Courier is one such book.The storyline is continually on the move and leaves the reader no time for catching breath, let alone to be bored. The masterful telling is captivating in a way that combines intrigue and suspense with characters you can't help but identify with in one way or another.

10/22
Amy at The 160 Acre Woods
When I picked this book up, I wasn’t sure what to think… I’m not a big historical reader BUT I really enjoyed this books. I had a difficult time putting it down. The combination of Tricia Goyer and Mike Yorkey brought the history together and entwined it to make it fast moving, suspenseful and entertaining. I was drawn in right away to the characters and couldn’t help but like the lead female Gabi right away. She was strong and likeable. I felt like I was swept off into their world of days gone by. I like how it covers WWII — it tells the story with real heart and emotions. It provided enough details without overkilling or dragging the story down.

Mary at Relevant Blog
What I love about The Swiss Courier is its gutsy heroine Gabi. Willing to take risks for the higher good, yet vulnerable—Gabi is a wonderful portrayal of the tender strength of womanhood. Add that to a twisting plot, the raging of World War II, and kindling love and you have an enjoyable read.

Jamie at Surviving the Chaos
It is classic Goyer (Maybe classic Yorkey, too, but I'm not familiar...) in that you can't put it down because you just HAVE TO KNOW how they will converge and survive. The book was good, man. Good.

AnnMarie at More Than Just A Mom
I like the fact that the book surprised me here and there. Although I had figured out one of the major plot twists, one or two others did surprise me. I like the descriptions of Switzerland and I even learned how the Swiss managed to stay out of the war. It was an interesting, pleasant read. This was an action packed story with well rounded characters and an electric setting.

10/23
Leticia at My Daily Trek
My gosh! Where to even begin to describe this fantastic, awesome, powerful book. If you are a WWII fan this is one of the best books to read. I cannot even begin to articulate the thrill ride.

Jeanette at His Marvelous Work
As always, the story had me reading until I could barely keep my eyes open. The Swiss Courier is a nail-biting tale of courage and sacrifice during one of our world’s darkest periods of history.

Jill at Christian Work At Home Moms LIVE INTERVIEW!!!
Both authors have written gads of books, but they came together to write one of the best WWII novels I've read yet. I enjoy reading about this time period - all that went on and the redeeming stories of people who stepped up to do the right thing. You won't be able to put this book down!

Jennifer at Rundpinne
Alternating fluidly between Germany and Switzerland, the reader is drawn into the worlds of the Third Reich as well as the resistance movement. The characters are so well written into the story lines one cannot help but feel as if they are there with the characters. The fluidity of the novel along with the impeccable details of the various sites, from Davos, Switzerland to Heidelberg, Germany, one cannot help but feel transported back in time. The story lines flow with a brilliant fluidity while maintaining secrets, hidden identities and agendas until the very end.

Laura at Lighthouse Academy
I had never heard of the Assination attempt on Hitler's life before, but THE SWISS COURIER is set around that and also it involves Swiss characters, a supposedly "neutral nation. I was hooked from the first chapter and couldn't put this book down.

Michelle at Edgy Inspirational Author
I finished The Swiss Courier last night. It was a compelling read with a lot of twists and turns.

Go here for the rest of the tour

Just wait until the teen years ...

I used to have an idea of what a homeschooler was like, until I became one. I thought of tight buns, long skirts, and homemade bread (whole-wheat of course). While that is a wonderful lifestyle I admire, that is so not me.

I’m more likely to drive through Starbucks, than to press fresh carrot juice. I watch Heroes with my kids and spend more time surfing the Internet than weeding an organic garden. Again, while all of those things are great, they’re just not what I’m about.

I remember the first time I ever considered homeschooling. We had friends from church who had eight kids, some of them teens, that I couldn’t help but notice. They set themselves apart not because of how they dressed or how they ate, but because of how they loved. The kids enjoyed hanging out with their parents, and the parents seemed to be having fun, too. Fun with their teens. They liked each other, and it was so unique I couldn’t help but notice. I wanted teens like that.

From the time my kids were toddlers I’d learned to fear the teen years. My toddlers could throw a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store and people would respond, “Oh, that’s nothing, just wait until they are teens.”

I’m glad to say that, years later after over a decade of homeschooling, I have teens like that. We hang out, we have fun, and we enjoy each other. Not that homeschooling is a magic formula, but by choosing it I was making a conscious choice to give my children time. Time to learn, time to share, time to grow up together.

Sometimes people are surprised when I tell them I’m a homeschool teacher. Maybe because I still look sane. Or maybe because I smile when I say it.

While it’s not the path for everyone, I’m thankful for my friends’ example. I also realize that even though I don’t look like how you think a homeschooling mom should, maybe people do see something different.

(photo courtesy of http://www.ringgerclothing.com)

Soldier Daddy by Cheryl Wyatt

Cheryl is a friend and a great writer!


About the book
U.S. Air Force commander Aaron Petrowski leads pararescue teams, yet can't find one nanny for his three-year-old twins? The widowed father is returning to duty, but not without the best care for his beloved boys. So when Sarah Graham applies, the young woman surprises everyone by passing inspection. Until Aaron discovers Sarah has a secret tied to a tragedy in his past. He can't keep her in his employ—or in his heart. Until his brave little soldier boys teach him a thing or two about love.
Soldier Daddy-4 Stars-Romantic Times

About the Author
Born Valentine’s Day on a naval base, Cheryl Wyatt writes military romance. Her Steeple Hill debuts earned RT Top Picks plus #1 and #4 on eHarlequin's Top 10 Most-Blogged-About-Books, lists including NYT Bestsellers. For more info visit Cheryl’s Web site

Join her newsletter mailing list by visiting her Web site and signing up in the space provided if you’d like Wings of Refuge recipes, new release news and goodies exclusive to newsletter subscribers.

Buy the book here! Soldier Daddy on Amazon

Married with Children...Part 1

Children are a welcome addition to families, but their presence unquestionably affects every aspect of married life. In our child-centered society, it is important to focus on is God and each other…even with little ones wrapped around our knees. Of course, Cory was already nine months old when John and I got married—we had a ready-made family. Having two more kids in the next three years added to the fun.

Needless to say, we all had some adjusting to do in our first years of marriage. For example, Cory liked to sleep with mom and didn’t want another guy taking his place. On the nights when he found his way into our bed, he’d turn sideways and kick John with all his might. And who said babies are innocent?

But this wasn’t even our biggest struggle. Rather, it was my belief that I knew best when it came to raising kids. After all, I was a stay-at-home mom and around the kids all day. How dare John come home from work and have different ideas about how things should run? Let’s just say it caused more than one moment of conflict.

“No matter how many children God gives you, it’s important to operate jointly in parenting,” say Dennis and Barbara Rainey, authors of Staying Close. “Again and again, I see families where the woman is expected to raise the kids. Contrary to male expectations, women are not made physically, emotionally, or spiritually to rear children by themselves.”

Over time, and after a lot of frustration, I figured out three things: 1) John sometimes knew what he was talking about, 2) I could learn from his ideas, and 3) the kids benefited from enjoying a close relationship with their dad.

John was firm but loving. And he was fun. By raising our kids together, instead of trying to balance marriage and solo parenting, my life got easier in many ways.

Hmmmm… maybe that’s why God designed children to be raised by both a mother and father?

(repost from 4/08)

I get these questions all the time ...

... how do you start your novels? Where do the ideas come from? How do you get the words on paper?

As you can see ... it varies!

With my historical series sometimes there is one event in history that sparks my interest. For From Dust and Ashes it was the true story about a Nazi Officer's wife going into a concentration camp to feed and care for prisoners after liberation. For Night Song it was the true story of an orchestra of prisoners who welcome their liberators by playing the Star-Spangled banner.

From there I considered "whose story" it was and how they connected to the event. In From Dust and Ashes the story started with the event. In Night Song the event was at the end.

Other times when my books start with a question:
What would happen if a Jewish woman pretends to be Aryan to hide herself and then gets pregnant by a Nazi officer (Arms of Deliverance).

What would happen if the Germans discovered one of their key scientists on the atomic bomb project was adopted and Jewish by heritage (The Swiss Courier, co-written by Mike Yorkey).

What would happen if a young artist travels to Spain to marry her fiance and a civil war breaks out the day she arrives (The Chronicles of the Spanish Civil War Series).

One time I started a novel because a World War II veteran asked me, "Would you write about my story--the Bataan Death March?" I said yes even before I had a story. But as I researched, the story emerged. (Dawn of a Thousand Nights)

In my soon to be released novel, Love Finds You in Lonesome Prairie Montana, my friend Ocieanna and I tried to figure out a way to use story elements that readers love but to do it in a way that wasn't cliche. We incorporated a mail-order bride, an orphan train, homesteaders, and a handsome circuit preacher into one book! It is fresh and fun while also connecting with what readers like.

After I get the "big idea," I then zone in on the characters. It's really their deepest motivations and fears that fuel the rest of the plot. The plot emerges as they strive for what they desire most ... and can't have.

Completely different was my work with Guidepost in a continuity series. The characters were set for me, so my goal was to consider what would really shake these characters out of their comfort zone. A garden robber (Sweet September), runaway (Every Sunrise), visiting country music singer making a video (Sunflower Serenade), and 130-year-old mystery (All Things Hidden) did the trick.

When it comes to the actual writing, I always start on page one and then move around after that. I write scenes as ideas or research or plot twists hit me. Writing all the cool, important stuff first is a great way for me to make sure there are no sagging middles! Once the major scenes are written then it's just a matter of stringing them together.

How about you?

Priorities

I have to admit there are days when I wish I had the house to myself to sleep in, take a long bath, read, and write. Then I think . . . what would I have to write about???

Kids have deepened me. They’ve shown me how to love deeper and give more. I’ve also learned how to be patient, watch my tongue, and not become overwhelmed by emotions on days I just want to hide away with a half-gallon of ice cream and have a good cry.

They’re a lot of work, but now that my oldest is twenty, I realize how quickly the time goes.

"How do I set my priorities when all things seem equally important and/or urgent? While our children were living at home, their needs came first," says author Elizabeth Lowell. "After all, they didn't ask to be born. We asked for them. For me, that meant writing part-time around the kids' schedules."

Your priority may not be writing, but I'm sure there are those things in you life that make you think, "I wish I could have more time to . . . "

Hopefully, I’ll be writing for the next forty years. And over that time period you'll have time for some of those longed-for interests too.

So enjoy that important time you spend "just for you" . . . but enjoy the kids more.

What about you? How do you enjoy your kids?

25 Things ...

A few years ago, I sat down and wrote a list of the top twenty-five things I wanted to have, do, or be. I kept this list by my computer and looked at it often.

There are a few things I'm still working on, yet in most areas I've taken positive steps, or even achieved my goal . . . such as writing a book for moms (Generation NeXt Parenting & Blue Like Play Dough), developing a time of Bible reading, study, and prayer with my husband, and stronger relationships with my kids.

What about you? If you sat down today to make a list of the top twenty-five things you wanted to have, do, or be . . . what would you write?

If you'd like to share, I'd love to hear about them!

1. Continue to be in tune with Jesus’ voice.
2. Become a dedicated seeker of truth.
3. Become a woman of prayer.
4. Have a healthy spirit, soul, and body.
5. Exercise and eat less.
6. Spend more time studying the Bible.
7. Keep an orderly home.
8. Have our family’s lives be one of peace and not hurry.
9. Have fun times with my family.
10. Support my husband.
11. Develop a time of Bible Study and prayer with John.
12. Develop strong relationships with my kids.
13. Develop a deeper love for my extended family.
14. Stay on a budget.
15. Foster a heart of worship and thanksgiving.
16. Be a voice for young moms.
17. Write a book to help moms.
18. Write a book for veterans.
19. Spend more time with friends.
20. Connect with other families.
21. Write novels that will touch hearts.
22. Develop dynamic speaking skills.
23. Continue to grow and learn as a writer.
24. Find an assistant to help with my writing business.
25. Take a vacation!

Now, what about you . . .

"You may regret not having the baby."

WOW!

It's so cool this topic is coming up in Hollywood,

"You may regret not having the baby."

Kourtney Kardashian's unplanned pregnancy forced the shocked reality TV star to make one of the most difficult decisions in her life: Would she have the baby or terminate the pregnancy?

"I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I wasn't thinking about adoption," Kardashian, 30, who was shooting E!'s Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami at the time, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I do think every woman should have the right to do what they want, but I don't think it's talked through enough. I can't even tell you how many people just say, 'Oh, get an abortion.' Like it's not a big deal."

Read the rest here!

Blue Like Play Dough on Break Point!

Yeah! Break Point (the worldview ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries founded by Chuck Colson!) Featured Blue Like Play Dough!

The Shape of Motherhood in the Grip of God

By Tricia Goyer|Published Date: September 09, 2009

I never thought I could meet God here. In my home. In my mess. In the midst of my ordinary suburban life.

To me, God was someone you met at church or connected with at weekly Bible study. I knew deep down it was possible to have mountaintop moments, but I believed they came during week long spiritual retreats, hourlong morning Quiet Times, and a once-a-year women’s conference.

Instead, I found God in surprising places. I found Him as I sat on the couch cuddling with my three- year- old and reading Goodnight Moon for the 2,345th time. He spoke to me as I made dinner and even as I stuffed laundry into rickety dresser drawers.

I heard Him in the midst of my untidy, desperately-in-need-of-a-reorg life. I found God, experienced Him...well...while mixing Kool-Aid and playing with play dough.

And it’s a good thing God allowed Himself to be found there, because as a mom my opportunities for solitude, contemplation, and three hymns and a prayer are few and far between.

I used to think the ones who knew God best were nuns and monks who lived high in the hills. I imagined it must be hard for such people to separate themselves and to give up so much. What they had, I believed, was true devotion and an ultimate connection with God. Everyone else—those of us who lived ordinary lives—missed out. Well, I don’t think that anymore.

Read the rest here!

The Marriage Code by Bill and Pam Farrel

I really like Pam's books!

It is possible to have a marriage that is smooth and satisfying, but you have to know and use the access code that keeps the connection to your spouse alive and well.
- Bill and Pam Farrel, The Marriage Code

The Marriage Code - Hot off the Press! Codes are all around us: access codes for banking accounts, to make reservations for travel, or to gain entry into buildings or our own computers. Do you want to know how to use a code to move your marriage "above the line of success and security" where everything is good, life is enjoyable and romance sizzles? In Bill and Pam Farrel's newest book, The Marriage Code, couples will learn the secret code to unlock love. The Farrels are relationship specialists, international speakers and authors of over 30 books including best selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. With their characteristic humor, solid wisdom, and practical illustrations, the Farrels will help you use the marriage code to gain entry into your mate’s heart and life. If you want to trade in conflict for connection, use The Marriage Code. New release special:

The Marriage Code: $12 (a $2 savings)

The Marriage Code Study Guide: $7 (a $2 savings)

Code Breaker Couple's special: $25 (3 book set!)
(One Marriage Code and two study guides - one for him, one for her)

Pam and Bill's interview on The Marriage Code will be on Focus on the Family radio October 21, 22.

Click here to download a free chapter. For more information about Pam and Bill Farrel and their resources: www.farrelcommunications.com


Follow Pam on Twitter and Facebook

Writing Teachers - things I've learned ...

At one of the workshops at Mt. Hermon years ago Lee Roddy taught about starting a novel. He said that on the first page you are making a contract with your reader on what type of novel it is. The reader should know from the first page who the character is, what he/she wants, and what conflicts will try to stop him/her getting it. They should also know the genre: mystery, romance, sci-fi, etc. Even if the cover is torn off they should know from the first page what you are promising.

Even more than the "tangible" goal, I also try to highlight the character's deepest felt-need in the first few pages. Often it's not a blaring sign, "Hello! This is what I want." Rather, it's a subtle hint. For example when Ocieanna and I were working on Love Finds You in Lonesome Prairie Montana our character Julia (a former orphan who cares for orphans) wants a home to call her own. On the first few pages we show her tucking away a sampler she's working on that says Home Sweet Home. We hint of Julia's longing, and it sets the stage for this character's emotional journey.

Another thing I learned from one of my former writing teachers (a local guy who writes ABA fiction and screenplays) is the importance of scenes. When I first started writing fiction I would write and write without a goal. When I was taught that each scene change is like a camera focus changing in a movie this helped me a ton. Now I imagine where the camera is pointing and I think about what it is focusing on and why. In movies, directors have a purpose for the shots they shoot, as I write I should have a purpose for the scenes I highlight, too.

When I start my novels these scenes soon present themselves in my mind, and I take note of them. It's like pictures in my head that highlight conflict, or show a character's personality, or provide another glimpse into the story journey. These scenes become the building blocks of my plot.

Finally, I have to think about Robin Gunn's class on fictional characters (also at Mt. Hermon). Robin had us write a timeline of our own lives with our high points and low points. Robin encouraged us to take those emotional elements and use those as THEMES in our novels. Themes like abandonment, betrayal, fear, liberation, redemption, and longing come to life in our stories because it's OUR stuff. I also ponder these as I begin my books. The theme ties into the character's felt need, but the two aren't the same. The lesson of the theme is something the character discovers when he/she is going after what he/she wants most.

Because of the wisdom of teachers how I approach my novels is VERY different than how I did 10 years ago. I love how people give and share to the benefit of us all!

What have you learned from a writing teacher?

Saying NO!

I clearly remember in junior high school when the "Just Say No," campaign was kicked off by Nancy Reagan. Starting in 1981, Mrs. Reagan's anti-drug crusade took her to 65 cities in 33 states, the Vatican, and eight other foreign countries in the course of eight years, as well as moving her to make numerous speeches, host two international conferences, and participate in radio and TV interviews.

The message worked for me. Although I did many regrettable things in high school, drugs was not one of them. Yet, today I was reminded again of this slogan as I read the forward of How to Say No...and Live to Tell About It (Harvest House) by author, Mary Byers.

Byers says, "When you try to be all things to all people, you run the risk of being nothing to anyone, including yourself. God has a special plan for you, and it’s your job to figure out what that plan is. Doing so requires saying no to things that don’t fit into the plan and yes to the activities that do. It sounds simple, but the complexity of real life keeps it from being anything but easy."

How about you? Do you have a problem, "Just saying no?" Nancy started the motto, and Mary brings it home for us today. Saying no, after all, is the first step to allowing all the "yeses" God has planned for your days.

Live interview about The Swiss Courier!

What a weekend ... I flew into Seattle on Friday for a combined book signing for The Swiss Courier and a research trip. Ocieanna Fleiss, my co-author on Love Finds You in Lonesome Prairie, Montana and our upcoming fiction novel about Rosie the Riveters in Seattle during WWII, picked me up from the airport and we spent the day interviewing Rosie's. It was AMAZING!

I also was blessed to meet and chat with several Christian authors over breakfasts and lunches - one of which was Jill Hart of Christian Work at Home Moms! She happened to also be in Seattle speaking at a conference. Funny timing since we were already scheduled to do a live interview on her Blog Talk Radio show this week.

The interview will center around The Swiss Courier and will also include my co-author on the book, Mike Yorkey. Be sure to tune it - Jill will have signed copies of the novel to giveaway! Fun.

Tuesday 8am (CST) Live

Help us spread the word! Tweet this: I'll be listening to the @triciagoyer and Mike Yorkey show by @cwahms Network on #BlogTalkRadio - http://tobtr.com/s/694565 #swisscourier

What's different in your life?

I know, I know ... today's post is supposed to be about marriage, but this is what's on my heart this morning!

Seasons change. Life changes. Kids grow up. These are three things I'm tuning into this fall.

Changes in the seasons are seen by the turning leaves and the geese that are heading south.

Life is changing, and I'm working on new, different and exciting books. It's always fun to try something new.

The kids are growing up. This is the biggest challenge for a homeschooling mom. With two kids in college I only have one left that I'm pestering to "get your work done" during the day. We're talking about out-of-state colleges and out-of-country internships. We're balancing family game nights with talks about life.

The thing that doesn't change is the fact that God stays the same. No matter what is going on, He is there. He stands guard over the seasons. He births new projects in my heart. He will continue to guide my children, watch over them, be with them ... even when they're far away from good ole' Mom.

This month, what's different in your life? Maybe it's expected, like the seasons. Maybe it's exciting, like new projects. Or maybe it's new and ... just a little bit scary, like the idea of big kids going into a big world.

Whatever you face, trust that God is already there, waiting as you walk through each step. He'll guide you, He'll love you, He'll help you. I know with my changes I'm learning to trust Him more. How about you?

Guest Blogger ... Ben Whiting!

How to Use Silence and Power to Improve Dialogue - Learning Fiction from the Bible, Part 3

This should be our last week to look at John chapter four, though I have ideas for future posts about different passages. I think there are two more principles we can pull out of the text. Again, for those who missed the previous posts, they can be found here: Part 1 and Part 2.

Real People Don’t Always Say What They’re Thinking

First, take a look at verse 27, where the disciples come back from their errand to get food. They’re extremely surprised by the fact that Jesus is talking with a woman, especially this woman, a Samaritan.

But none of them says anything.

Often the words that people don’t say carry as much significance as the ones they do. This can be used multiple ways in a story. For instance, the context of what’s going on might be plain to everyone, so that Jesus, the disciples, and the reader all know what they want to say and why. Or the reader might know because of a scene they read previously, but not all of the characters have that information. Or the POV character might think about what they want to say, or the other character could even comment on the silence to bring it to the reader’s attention.

Get creative with your silence. Using every word on the page for maximum impact is a powerful technique, but don’t neglect to take advantage of opportunities where missing words carry just as much weight.

Real People Either Lead or Follow in Conversations

Finally, look back over the entire exchange between Jesus and the Samaritan woman. Notice that she follows Jesus as he shifts the subject throughout. This is a subtle indication of which of them is in control, who has the power.

Whether you believe that Jesus is omniscient or not, he pretty clearly steers the topic from beginning to end. He dictates the lane changes, while she scrambles to shift gears.

When a general starts talking about pontoon boats with a captain, the lower-ranked officer goes with the flow. If it happens the other way around, the general either keeps the conversation where he wants it or he condescends and allows the shift, which still underlines his power.

This balance of power may not always be as clear cut in your story though. The conversation might be a battle for power, with characters conceding control in one place but fighting to change the subject in another. Or maybe one individual is clearly the intellectual superior, and that is illustrated by the flow of the conversation. Or perhaps intellect is winning the day, but a sudden revelation of information shifts power to a “weaker” character.

As with all of these principles, there are numerous ways this can play out, but being aware of it will hopefully allow you to add depth, realism, and tension to each bit of dialogue you write.

~o~

Ben Whiting is a full-time English student at the University of Texas at Arlington and co-general editor of the award-winning collegiate publication Marine Creek Reflections. He recently completed the rough draft of his suspense novel, Penumbra.

God-Seeker ...

What do you think of when you think of a God-seeker? Someone who spends an hour on their knees in prayer? Some who lives a life of solitude or travels often to attend spiritual retreats? Yeah, I used to think that to. I used to believe that I had to carve out as much "God" time as possible in my day. The more of the "world" I cut out, the better. The only problem is the world didn't want to leaven me alone. It wrapped its tentacles around me. It filled my weeks. It burdened my mind, heart, and God-goals. Life just wouldn't let go.

Lately, I've been thinking that perhaps this wasn't how it was supposed to be after all. Maybe my job isn't to cut out my life to make room for God. Maybe I'm suppose to take God into every part of my life. More than that. Maybe He's all ready there.

I'm to see God before me, behind me, beside me and in me as I go through my day. If He is in me and around all I do, nothing touches me that hasn't touched Him first. He desires to carry me through my day just as He desires me to look to Him during those quiet moments. Maybe more.

As I was thinking this I came upon a quote by Sister Wendy, "The temptation always is to think that religion means we must be different, unencumbered by the world. This is not so. Look at the life of Jesus. He lived in a quarrelsome, demanding, hostile world and accepted all of it as the world His Father redeem."

Do you stress about not doing enough to keep the world at bay? Perhaps today you can do as Jesus did--live IN the world keeping your mind and heart open to the Father's work. I know I'm gonna try to do that more. Won't you join me?

Get your copy of The Swiss Courier signed!

I'll be signing books at the new Lifeway Bookstore in Tukwila, Washington (South Seattle) from 11am - 1pm on October 10th! I'd love to meet you (and all your friends!)

For those of you who can't make it - I'll be twittering from the event!

Don't live in Seattle?

I'll also be signing books at Border's Bookstore in Kalispell, MT on November 7th from 12-3!

For more events go here!

50 in 52: Loving Teens!

Last month I was interviewed by a fascinating woman. Dafna who is on a mission to find the people who are moving America forward; to share and celebrate the incredible ways in which ordinary people do extraordinary things every day; and to bring together both problems and solutions with idea-generators and problem-solvers through the 50 in 52 Journey foundation.

Watch it!

50 In 52 Journey is a Journey to find the people in America who are problem-solvers, idea-generators, people in their communities, in their cities, and in their States who are moving America forward

This Journey will rely on the Internet and on YOU to help chart its course. Through social-networking sites like FACEBOOK, and TWITTER and others, we will be asking all of you to help spread the word about this incredible project. For each State we will ask you and your neighbors to :

NOMINATE - the problem solvers and idea-generators in your community
RALLY - for where you live. Let America know the best kept secrets of your neighborhood
THINK - Send us your ideas for how to solve the problems in your community

The Swiss Courier: Is out and available everywhere!

Gabi Mueller, a young Swiss-American woman working for American spy interests in Switzerland during the latter days of World War II, accepts a do-or-die mission: safely courier a German physicist working on the Nazi atomic bomb to Switzerland.

It is August 1944 and the Gestapo is mercilessly rounding up suspected enemies of the Third Reich. When Joseph Engel, a German physicist working on the atomic bomb, finds that he is actually a Jew, adopted by Christian parents, he must flee for his life to neutral Switzerland. Gabi Mueller is a young Swiss-American woman working for the newly formed American Office of Strategic Services (the forerunner to the CIA) close to Nazi Germany. When she is asked to risk her life to safely "courier" Engel out of Germany, the fate of the world rests in her hands. If she can lead him to safety, she can keep the Germans from developing nuclear capabilities. But in a time of traitors and uncertainty, whom can she trust along the way? This fast-paced, suspenseful novel takes readers along treacherous twists and turns during a fascinating--and deadly--time in history.

Want more?

Buy a copy here!

Read an excerpt here!

Download the Discussion Guide!

***Want a signed copy of The Swiss Courier for your very own?

Just tweet this: The Swiss Courier by @triciagoyer fast paced and suspenseful! Don't miss out! http://tr.im/Ahjs RT #swisscourier

and we'll enter you into a drawing for 1 of 5 SIGNED copies of The Swiss Courier!

Thank you all so much for your support! Below you'll find some additional ideas on Spreading the Word about The Swiss Courier (and a chance to win a copy and a yummy Swiss Chocolate basket)!


Watch a preview:



Mike and I are super excited about the release of The Swiss Courier! We'd love it if you help the book get off the ground.

~~ If you were one of the lucky few who received an advance copy of the book - please tweet or facebook your thoughts!

~~Consider putting The Swiss Courier video trailer on your blog or facebook or tweeting the link!

~~Promote the contest: Want a signed copy of The Swiss Courier for your very own?

Just tweet this: The Swiss Courier by @triciagoyer fast paced and suspenseful! Don't miss out! http://tr.im/Ahjs RT #swisscourier

and we'll enter you into a drawing for 1 of 5 SIGNED copies of The Swiss Courier!

~~Post a review on CBD, Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble

~~If you live near Seattle, WA or Kalispell, MT - tell your friends about the book signings!

~~Purchase a copy of The Swiss Courier for yourself and for your friends. If you live near a Lifeway Store - pick up a copy there. They've selected The Swiss Courier as one of their Top Fall Fiction releases! (Praise God!)

If you're able to help out - email my assistant (amy@triciagoyer.com) and let her know how you helped out - she'll enter your name into a hat to win a signed copy of The Swiss Courier and a Swiss Chocolate gift basket!

My buddy Lester!

I interviewed Les for Dawn of a Thousand Nights!

Bataan survivor Lester Tenney's care package project! COOL!

Who is the Spiritual leader?

I was checking my email this morning when I came across an interesting email from George Barna (www.barna.org).

Here is a short excerpt:
May 7, 2007
(Ventura, CA) -

Mothers inhabit many roles inside and outside the family. Within the household, they are often counted on to be the emotional compass, organizer, and multitasking manager of the family. Add to that list another common function: spiritual energizer.

According to a new Barna study, women who are raising children are among the most faith-minded and spiritually active segments of the American population. The study explored faith-related activities, commitments and perspectives, relying upon nationally representative interviews among more than 10,000 adults and nearly 2000 women who are currently parenting children under the age of 18.

The study shows that more than three-quarters of moms identify "family" to be their highest priority. At the same time, a majority of mothers strongly agree that their faith is very important in their life. In contrast, fathers also tend to list family as their top priority in life, yet they are much less likely to equally attribute importance to faith.

You can read the rest of the article here.

I am blessed that my husband has grown as a spiritual leader over the years. I think there are three major reasons for this.

1. God convicted me years ago of my tendency of being John's "Jr. Holy Spirit." God reminded me that He can and will speak to my husband. Thank you very much.

2. I've allow John to "do" spiritual leadership his way--not how I think things should be. I have my ideas of the types of family worship or Bible Study I'd like to try, but my way does not mean the only right way.

3. I pray for my husband's success. I pray that He will listen to God's leading. I pray that I will follow and be an encourager.

Also, I thought of something else that ties in--as parents it's our job to raise our sons to be the spiritual leaders of their future homes.

In fact, just this morning I was talking about this with my oldest son. I told him, "You know what? The type of girl you're looking for will be more attracted to your spiritual maturity than anything else. So the more time you spend with God, the more you'll attract a girl who has a heart for God."

Another resource on this subject I love is speaker Sheri Rose Shepherd. Sheri is a fellow Multnomah/Waterbrook author. One of Sheri's books Preparing Him for that Other Woman.

Oh, and if you haven't read Generation NeXt Parenting yet, then make sure to check it out. I give more ideas about how to train our kids while also being a helpmate to our husbands. The men in our lives deserve nothing less.

(repost from 2007)