Emotionally Naked ...

Sometimes to write a good book you need to strip down and get naked. Emotionally that is.

I talked about my parenting struggles in Generation NeXt Parenting.

I talked about having an abortion, being abused, and tons of other junk in My Life, Unscripted (for teen girls).

I talked about lots more struggles, including an emotional affair, in Generation NeXt Marriage.

And because that wasn't enough, I talked about struggle, struggle, happy thoughts, struggle, struggle, happy thoughts in Blue Like Play Dough. (Only this last one was a memoir.)

There are many non-fiction books out there that are just informational. Personally, I don't think they are going to fly with the younger generations for long at all. These readers are the reality TV people who process the world through seeing other people interact with it. I think memoirs are going to continue to become more popular because we don't want someone to say, "I sometimes doubted I was a good mom," readers want to *see* scenes with these struggles and scenes with how to find help and hope. Transparency is going to be the new thing. Is the new thing.

There is a TON of me and my nakedness in my novels, but I feel safer there, because it's a character ... not me. Of course those who know me really well know it IS me.

My novels have covered:
abandonment by a lover
unplanned pregnancy
finding a father
seeing a father's approval
never feeling like you'll live up to your mother's demands
losing your dream
etc.

These are all part of my story but poor Libby, Sophie, Mary, and Ava have to live the pain out :)

This little light of mine ... (part 2)

Catch part 1 here.

I imagine you read part 1 and maybe considered your own life, your own mistakes. That’s a good thing.

I know, I know, most of the time you don’t like to “go there.” To think about those dark days. I didn’t either, but the truth is those things often aren’t far from us.? We try to forget our past mistakes, but they are right below the surface of our consciousness. One mess-up today and one hundred mess-ups from our yesterdays come to mind. We try to forget, but unless we could erase our memories forgetting is impossible.

A few years ago, I was having trouble forgetting. It started with reading Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” After reading it, I’d prayed it. And within a day of praying, God resurrected someone from my past who brought everything to the surface again. God had showed me what was in my heart alright, and He pointed out places where residue still clung.

It was then God reminded me that although I’d been groping in the darkness, He’d been right there with me. At any time I could have turned to Him—He’d given me many opportunities to do so—but I had stubbornly continued in the dark. And as I realized that, I understood God’s love even more. Jesus knew all those mistakes, saw me do them, and yet He still forgave me. He still loved me.

That night when I went to bed, I let my mind go back to those places. Yet as I watched myself making bad choices, and I also pictured Jesus by my side with his arms outstretched wishing I’d come to Him instead. It was hard to picture Him there.

Tears streaked down my cheeks, and at that moment I understood His love greater than I ever had before. I also understood that even though I’d 1) asked forgiveness from Him, and 2) I saw myself in darkness and had forgiven myself, there was another layer healing needed. This was 3) asking God to clean out the last bit of residue from my heart, understanding Jesus knew all and still loved me. He saw all my offensive ways and realized anxiousness comes by trying to hide. Instead of hiding, God reminded me that nothing I did was ever hidden. He knew all, and His loved hadn’t changed. It would never change.

This was a moment of humbling and a moment of freedom. It was understanding who I was, why I did what I did, mixed with a knowing that I don’t have to go back there. I don’t even have to deal with the residue. Jesus wants to take that, too.

Jesus is light. And light flooding a soul brings lightness. It’s amazing how that works, but I’m forever grateful that is does.

Take Time for This:
1. Think back to times in your life when you’ve made huge mistakes. Picture yourself in a dark room, groping for happiness. What were some of the obstacles you crashed into? What were some of the emotions you felt?

2. Remember the day you accepted Christ. Picture Jesus entering your room flooding it with light. How did your life change?

3. Pray Psalm 139:23-24. What “anxious thoughts” and “offensive ways” come to mind? Write them down. Ask Jesus to take away the reside left over by past sins … whether they are from ten years ago or ten minutes ago.

4. Read the following Scripture verses and personalize them to your situation. Imagine Light seeping into every cell of your body. How do these verses apply to your life at this moment?

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

For [God] has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 1 Peter 2:9-10

5. Thank God for being His Light. Pray, sing or kneel. Express your thankfulness as one who now understands lightness.

Like this? Check out Blue Like Play Dough!

This little light of mine ... (part 1)

For most of my children’s childhood I lived a life that those on the outside would esteem (or at least that’s what I’d hoped). I homeschooled my children and volunteered at church. I worked from home and kept a neat house. My kids were good, my husband was great, and what many didn’t know is that even though I had a smile on my face I lived under a burden of guilt. The problem was, even though I’d dedicated my life to God and asked His forgiveness, I hadn’t forgiven myself. I tried so hard to be good, knowing in the past I’d been so bad.

There were some things in my life I regretted that nobody knew about. There were other things that people close to me knew—my parents, my brother, John—but no one talked about. Yet I could feet the weight of past decisions: decisions like becoming sexually active at a young age, dating the wrong guys, having an abortion at fifteen. Even though I’d walked away from that life, I still felt like that girl full of shame. And more than anything, that girl wanted to hide. She did good, kept quiet, and hoped no one would notice the pained look in her eyes.

And then one day I met a woman who’d done the same things, yet her step was light and her smile was genuine. She lived, not under the burden of past regrets, but under the gift of grace. I wanted what she had.

* * * *

For each of us, there are moments in our lives where the right message at the right time makes all the difference. For me, this message was an imagined picture of myself as a teen in a pitch black room.

You see, the woman-full-of-grace suggested I do a Bible study with her. It was called Forgiven and Set Free, and it guided me to be both. It was through this study that I learned about light and darkness. Of course, if you would have asked I would have been able to tell you that Jesus is the light of the world, but I didn’t understand what that meant to me personally.

Ephesians 5:8-9 says, “For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.”

Reading this, I got the image of myself in darkness. Complete darkness. I imagined my arms outstretched, reaching and searching. I imagined grasping onto anything (or anyone) that I came across—even things unhealthy and not good. I couldn’t see because there wasn’t any light. I didn’t know better because I couldn’t see. In the darkness I made many mistakes, bumped into many problems … but isn’t that the natural consequences of someone groping around in the dark?

My heart during the time of my youth was dark. Sin reigned. Sin is “missing the mark” of God’s perfect plan. In the darkness it was natural for me to miss the mark. And everyone stumbling around with me was missing the mark too. I stumbled, I crashed, and it hurt … but that’s how things work in the darkness.

Thankfully, when I was pregnant and seventeen, I found the Light. In the light I could see. And even though I’ll never be perfect (far from it), in the light and with the guidance of the Light within, I do strive to do what is good, and right, and true. Dark deeds had come from a dark path, but that wasn’t me anymore.

It’s amazing how a little knowledge can bright so much freedom.

(to be continued ... )

Want to Follow God?

You don’t need to DO these things to be a God-follower, but these are things that have helped me on my journey. Things I have tried to teach my children and maybe they’ll help you too:

1. Make time for God. Set your alarm clock to get up early. Focus your thoughts on Him first and often.

2. Read the Bible and ask God for the one thing to take-away from your reading.

3. Read devotional books. I recommend: My Utmost for His Highest. Practicing the Presence of God. God Calling. (links?)

4. Listen to Christian music and/or praise music throughout the day. It helps to keep you focused on the right thing and protects your thoughts from all the worries of life.

5. Pray with friends—together in person or on the phone.

6. Get advice from other Christ-followers. Look to men and women you respect for encouragement about following God with all your heart.

7. Read biographies of famous Christians. Be inspired!

8. Seek God throughout the day.
a. Talk to Him.
b. Seek His strength.
c. Be encouraged by His word.
d. Believe in His love.
e. Trust in His plan for your life.

2. Have a mission statement for your life. If you could do anything with the talents and gifts God has give you what would it be? Who would you serve?

3. Ask God for the one thing He desires for you to do.
a. He knows His plans for your future.
b. He knows His design for your marriage.
c. He has gifted you with your children.
d. Now what does He want you to do with all these things?

From the past ...

This is so interesting -

My first novel, From Dust & Ashes, is about the liberation of Mauthausen Concentration Camp. And for some interesting history on Spain's activities prior to WWII, check out The Chronicles of the Spanish Civil War series.

Suspected Nazi camp guards sought by Spain

MADRID (UPI) -- Three men suspected of having been guards at Nazi concentration camps during World War II face genocide charges in Spain

Judge Ismael Moreno of Spain's National Court issued international arrest warrants Thursday for Johann Leprich, Anton Tittjung and Josias Kumpf, all 84, after indicting the trio on charges on genocide, CNN reported.

According to the court order, Leprich and Tittjung are thought to be residing in the United States, while Kumpf is suspected of living in Austria.

The court order alleges Kumpf was a guard at the Sachsenhausen concentration camp, while Leprich and Tittjung served at the Mauthausen concentration camp and Gross Raming sub-camp.

Moreno said 4,300 of the more than 7,000 Spanish prisoners at Mauthausen during the war died at the camp.

CNN said the National Court of Spain investigates allegations of crimes against humanity and genocide involving Spanish nationals.

Copyright 2009 by United Press International

Shaped Up: Inward Molding, Outward Joy part 2

Catch part 1 here.

Relinquishment.

It’s a word that wasn’t in my vocabulary before God started speaking to my heart. Up to this point in my life two things had happened. 1. During my teen years I had given myself over to fun and guys and partying and … sin. And that had led to heartache. 2. Then I gave my life to God. I committed myself to living like a Christian. I committed myself to doing the good things I thought I should, which worked great except for the fact that all my focus was on “doing. And on myself.”

Then one day I attended a workshop. The woman speaking was everything I wanted to be: smart, talented, successful. Yet as I heard her story I was surprised she didn’t offer the attendees a list of things to do to follow her path. Instead she focused on what we should give up, which was namely … everything.

Ellen spoke about the moment she wanted success for her career more than anything, and how God had led her to her knees. With open palms she lifted her dreams, and herself, to her Creator. “Lord, I give you everything.”

Hearing her, I was both excited and scared. Could it be that easy? A battle waged in my soul. I wanted to give everything to God, but another part of me wanted to remain in control. If I gave up everything what did that mean? What would I do next? Those were surface questions, but deep down the question I asked more than anything else was this: Could God be trusted?

It wasn’t something I would have ever voiced, but that’s how I felt.

Before we left that evening, Ellen encouraged us to do two things: 1. To pray for the desire to relinquish everything, and 2. To get on our knees, lift our hands, and relinquish ourselves even if we didn’t completely mean it.

As soon as I got home that night, I hurried to my bedroom. There, with the kids pounding on the door wanting a drink, a story, a goodnight hug, I prayed for the desire to relinquish everything. Then I got on my knees and lifted my hands. “Here you go, Lord.”

I can’t say that everything changed or that the next morning life was perfect. But things did get better. I came to realize that I’d been holding on very tightly to the image I pictured for my life … and myself. I also understood that maybe God’s image was a bit different than mine.

Over the weeks and years to come I’ve realized His image is very different. In fact, the image He’s trying to form me into has nothing to do with me at all, but rather with Christ. God’s plan was … and is … and will always be, to mold me into the likeness of His Son.

The first step simply involves placing myself in His hands.
Take Time For This:
1. Growing up, one of my favorite Bible songs was, “He’s got the whole world in His hands.” Of course, I never really thought about what that meant. If God does have the mamas and the daddys … the sisters and the brothers … and the ity-bity babies, in reality that means He’s overseeing me, and every aspect of my world, too.

Take a moment to personalize the following Scripture verses. Replace the words in italic with “me,” or with your name, or with any other words that help it apply to your life. For example: From heaven the LORD looks down and sees me. From his dwelling place he watches Tricia—he who forms my heart, who considers everything I do.

Yes, God is in control of all the earth … and you are a part of that. A very special part.
Psalm 33:13-15: From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

Psalm 66: 1-2: Shout with joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious!

Psalm 83:18: Let them know that you, whose name is the LORD—that you alone are the Most High over all the earth.

Psalm 100:1-3 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

2. Today, while your heart is tender, pray in your own words and ask God to give you the desire to relinquish everything you are, everything you do, everything you have to Him.

3. Finally, go to a quiet place and get on your knees before God. Lift up your hands. Relinquish everything.

Team Tricia!

A few years ago I was feeling extremely overwhelmed with all I had to do. One Wednesday night at church I was chatting with a good friend about the books we were reading, and an idea struck ... she would make a great assistant! I asked Amy if she'd be interested in doing filing, mailings, and reading for me. She came over once a week or so, and I also emailed her articles, chapters, etc. for her to read/edit before I send them in to my in-house editor. Amy did such a great job I soon started passing other things off to her: updating my blog, creating my newsletters, setting up my schedule, etc.

Then, some of my friends asked who was helping me and they started hiring her too. I'm only a bit jealous. She's MINE! Okay, not ONLY mine. Now my friend is the CEO of www.litfusegroup.com ... I know how to pick good ones! Amy still does all those things I mentioned and more. She works about 60 hrs. a month for me, and she's great! Since we've started working together Amy moved to Seattle, so I'm in need of a local assistant again. I'm praying about that!

I've also hired other virtual assistants for other tasks. Gayle DeSalles did a great job organizing all my mailing lists. I've hired Kathleen Y'Barbo for publicity stuff too.

Last year my husband and I sat down and had a "state of the ink" meeting. We looked over what I was currently doing and where I dreamed of going. We realized that I could do a lot more if I had more help so I hired a business consultant to help me discover/build my brand. Kristen Andress is an associate of Stedman Graham. I was introduced to Kristen through a producer who I met in Canada. The redo of my website and press kit are one of the things Kristen and I worked on. She's also connected me with other amazing Christian leaders and one book project is in the works with a well-know Christian business author. Kristen's fee was pricey, but both my agent Janet Grant and I feel it's been worth the investment. Working with a professional had helped me to treat this writing stuff as a profession.

Also, in the last year I've taken advantage of the amazing Pulsepoint Design team, lead by Kelli Standish. They produced a stellar website, a totally cool book trailer, and we're currently working together for some blog promotions.

Finally, with the recommendation of Robin Gunn I also started working with an events coordinator. Natalie has been organizing my speaking events, negotiating fee for me (I'd used to speak for free wherever I went just because I didn't like to bring up money!), and taking care of all the details so I don't have to think about them. It's so sweet, and she gets a % of my speaking fees, which is worth it!

A few months ago I organized a "meeting" with this group of amazing people we refer to as Team Tricia. They are my big feet that keep me stabilized and allows me to grow. The awesome thing is that each of these people have amazing talents, and by using them I have more time to writing ... and writing I've been doing!

It was an investment for sure, but I'm really starting to see it pay off, both in the books I'm producing, the people I'm reaching, and my peace of mind and heart.

There aren't many times I can say that I'm really proud of what happens in Hollywood ...

... but right now I can say that! I'm proud that Kourtney Kardashian carried her baby .. and that she chose to speak out about it.

My hope is that many young women will get the same message: "You may regret not having the baby."

Kourtney Kardashian's unplanned pregnancy forced the shocked reality TV star to make one of the most difficult decisions in her life: Would she have the baby or terminate the pregnancy?

"I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I wasn't thinking about adoption," Kardashian, 30, who was shooting E!'s Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami at the time, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I do think every woman should have the right to do what they want, but I don't think it's talked through enough. I can't even tell you how many people just say, 'Oh, get an abortion.' Like it's not a big deal." Read the rest here.

Teens and the bad rap!

Choices, Choices

A few years ago I helped a family member purchase a money order to mail to her daughter who lives out-of-state. It seems her boyfriend kicked her out, and she’d been staying in a hotel. Unfortunately, she ran out of money, and her boss from the local diner had already fronted all he could. This person needed money quick, and she didn’t know where else to turn.

Around the same time a friend of mine related the story of being startled awake by her son. It was 3:30 a.m. when the phone rang. Her son had been partying and needed a ride home. Though my friend had to work the next morning, she jumped out of bed and hurried to her son’s aid.

Does this sound unusual? Maybe not. People find themselves in binds like this all the time.

Well, what if I told you that these people in trouble were 50 and 55-years-old? That’s right. They experienced adolescence in the 1960s, yet here they were not straying far from their old ways.

Many times teens get a bad rap for being irresponsible. Teens drive too fast. Party too hard. And don’t make wise choices about their future.

Well, as far as I’m concerned, wise-decision making has more to do with a right heart-attitude than with age. I’ve seen teens make very wise choices . . . ones that their older acquaintances should try to copy!

Proverbs 1:15 and 18 says, “Don’t go along with [sinners], my child! Stay far away from their paths . . . they set an ambush for themselves; they booby-trap their own lives! Such is the fate of all who are greedy for gain. It ends up robbing them of life” (NLT emphasis mine).

For the past few weeks, I’ve been wearing a white wristband similar to Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong. It says these words: “Choose Life.” On the surface the meaning is pro-life, of course. But to me this bracelet also reminds me to choose life in all the decisions I make.

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 says, “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him” (NIV).

Choosing life means choosing God’s way. It’s choosing to seek Him instead of the world’s answers. It’s choosing hope, peace, abundance, and faith. It means serving God and loving people, instead of attempting to find happiness through live-in boyfriends and all-night-parties. It means not booby-trapping your own life by making bad choices over and over again.

Each of us messes up. I have too many times to count! But being “grown-up” means realizing those mistakes and deciding to take a better way. As Psalms 119:30 says, “I have chosen the way of truth” (NIV). Truth as Jesus gives it--not as Hollywood tries to display.

So the next time someone tries to give teens a bad rap, be sure to tell them differently. Let them know you’re choosing life. You’re choosing not to bobby-trap your future. Choosing blessings instead of cursings.

After all, your choices are good choices when you choose God’s choices for your days!

Experiencing God: When God Speaks

There are times I wonder what God is up to. There are some things that show up in my life, God says "now," and they happen. Our exchange student last year and a few unexpected book contracts are evidence of that.

Then there are things that I believed God spoke to my heart ... yet they didn't happen quite as easy. Our adoption was/is that way. When Nathan was 5-years-old I heard about baby girls in China who were in need of homes. I was excited about it, but John wasn't quite as excited. I tucked that desire deep in my heart, and I prayed. I knew if God wanted it to come to pass GOD, not me, would speak to John.

Fast forward nine years and God did. John brought adoption up and I was excited and on board. We started the process, sure this was what God wanted. The paperwork alone (for numerous reasons) took two years. By the time the paperwork got to China (last November) the waiting list had grown and China's speed at matching babies with parents had slowed. Currently--if the pace continues as it's going--we're looking at getting a baby girl in 2012! (Just a few years longer than I'd expected or hoped for.)

Thinking of waiting until 2012 overwhelms me. In fact, in my human nature I immediate start thinking of other places we can adopt from or other ways we can expand our family. But in the end something tells me that those plans are just my fretting and worry getting the best of me. And when it comes down to it, John and I go back to the one thing we know: God has asked us to work through this process to adopt from China.

We have done everything we knew to do. We've done the paperwork, and it's sitting complete on a desk somewhere half-way across the world. It's completely out of our hands, so now we must simply trust and wait.

There are times in the past when I've tried to push my own agenda and it has caused a lot of frustration and worry, but never the results I expected. I have a dozen (at least) half-written books on my computer because I was tired of waiting for God's plan. Instead, I looked around to see what editors wanted and tried to write that. It never worked.

One thing I love about Experiencing God is this message in Week 1: God does not play guessing games with His people.

Experiencing God says this:

When God spoke to His people two things were certain:

1. it was God who spoke

and

2. There was no question about what God had asked them to do.

"If we are not certain if God is leading us, we need to go back to our relationship with Him. If we sense God is leading us or guiding us but do not know to where or for what purpose, we need to go back to our relationship with Him. Stay before the Lord until there is no question about what God is asking of you or how God is leading you."

When we embarked on this adoption journey John and I thought we new the purpose: to expand our family and open our lives to a child. The leading was certain and hopefully we will some day have another, wonderful daughter in our lives, but maybe there is more to all of this than we thought.

Through our journey we've talked to many others about adoption. We've fallen in love with China. We've prayed for the country and the people. And we appreciate the three children God has given us even more.

This reminds me that during times when I do not understand the purpose of God's leading the most important thing I can do is GO BACK TO HIM. My worry and my fretting shouldn't be the things that change my path ... the only that that should impact my steps is what I feel God speaking to my heart and what John feels God speaking to his--what we feel together.

That is where true peace comes from: knowing it was God who spoke and knowing what He is asking us to do. And then we just follow, wait, and watch. We trust and we grow. And we believe that we would choose this very same path if we knew everything that God knows.

The Swiss Courier book trailer!

Kelly and her team did an AMAZING job! Love it.

Shaped Up: Inward Molding, Outward Joy part 1

In His hands … where it all starts

There was a time in my life I was busy about many things. As a young wife and mom I wanted to get things right. I wanted to be right. I worked hard (very hard) to keep the house in tip-top shape. I did all the things I thought my husband would like. I took my kids to all the places that I believed would benefit their development and refine their character. I did a lot, yet I still felt like the “a lot” was not enough. At night I’d drop into bed and wonder where I’d gone wrong, and at what turn I’d missed happily-ever-after.

I can’t explain what happened then, but I think it came to the point when enough was enough. God let me go down the path of exhaustion/longing/missing-the-mark, until one day I realized I was toast without Him.

Even when I realized what I was doing wasn’t working it wasn’t like I instantly knew what the answer was. Was there a magic formula somewhere that could make everything click into place? I wondered. I hoped it was true. Hoped that out there, somewhere, was the right book, parenting curriculum, or marriage manual that would teach me what I needed to make life work.

I wanted a magic formula for my relationship with God, too. Surely there had to be some type of practice or discipline I could incorporate to make God take notice of me and to give me a little help?!

Okay, the truth is, I never voiced those things. Never prayed them, but that’s how I felt. I kept my eyes open for the one thing that would make life work, not realizing that my works would never achieve what I desired.

The transformation started with one verse.

Better one handful with tranquility
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.
Ecclesiastes 4:6

I can’t say how I felt that morning reading that verse, except that those fifteen words seemed to sum up exactly how I felt. In my mind’s eye I pictured myself running in circles, attempting to grasp happiness, success, and joy from the air that rushed by. But no matter how I grasped and struggled, my hands came up empty. So much work, and no reward.

This verse was soon followed by another. (If I didn’t know any better I would have thought
Someone was trying to tell me something.)

Be still, and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10

Those words popped up every where I looked—in books and on the radio, on stationary and even on the wall hanging my stepmom made me for Christmas. (I actually chuckled out loud when I opened my gift.)

It was clear from these two verses that there was something I needed to do: calm down. (I can clearly hear my mother’s voice telling me the same thing as a child, “Can’t you calm down?”)
The very idea frightened me. If I wasn’t doing a very good job with life running full speed ahead what would happened if I slowed? Without the numerous Bible studies, the volunteering, the kids’ extracurricular activities, and the busyness of work projects: Where would I be? Who would I be? If I couldn’t be known for what I did: What was left?

To be continued!

What about you ... have you gotten to that point in your life? Are you there now? What did you do or what do you plan to do? How are you taking steps?

(photo credit here)

Guest Blogger ... Gary Allen VanRiper

Just receive another rejection notice? Discouraged?

I remembered an interview in Christianity Today* with the late Madeleine L'Engle from just over 30 years ago (see June 8, 1979 issue), during which she talked about a very difficult period in her writing life. I'll share the highlights. I hope it is helpful. It's just like I remembered it. (Plus, I get to justify to my wife why I save all these magazines!)

Q. Let's talk about the dry years. You'd had five books published. You must have thought you had it made. Then, nothing. What did you do? How did you feel?

A: I felt terrible. My husband had left the theater. We wanted more children. He thought it was unfair to bring more children into the world with two parents in totally precarious professions. Even with five books I wasn't making enough royalties to support us.

We had gone through a perfectly terrible year… He'd had a number of jobs, but they'd taken him out of town. We were together two weeks out of fifty-two...

It seemed ironic and unfair that just as I was turning closer to God, I couldn't sell anything I wrote. Particularly, Meet the Austins. It was rejected for over two years because it dealt with death. At that time death was taboo in children’s literature… I wrote another novel and then I wrote A Wrinkle in Time. It was rejected and rejected. I would put the kids to bed, walk down the dirt road in front of the house, weep, and yell at God. I'd say, "God why are you letting me have all of these rejection slips? You know its a good book. I wrote it for you."... When it was finally accepted, the publisher said it wouldn't sell...

When it won the Newbury, everybody was shocked. If my prayers had been answered earlier, the book might have dropped into a dark pool of oblivion...

I hope this is a source of encouragement.

Write on!

Gary Allen VanRiper
www.adirondackkids.com
twitter: @adirondackkids

My daughter and I each keep a copy of L’Engle’s inspiring, Madeleine L'Engle Herself: Reflections on a Writing Life (Writers' Palette , on our night stands. Reads like a devotional for writers. It’s awesome.

*Thanks to Christianity Today for permission to share this segment of the interview.

"Be a Schoolebrity"

Attention tweens (and moms of tweens!) Kmart wants every kid to “Be a Schoolebrity” this year with trend-right fashions and school supplies to rock the school year! They even created this really fun site where kids can check out awesome back to school looks, try on new fashions with a personal avatar, and play games online with friends. Check it out here.

The site also has a bunch of online offers (because Moms love coupons!) and is where kids can enter the “Be a Schoolebrity” sweepstakes! The grand prize winner wins a shopping spree with a Nickelodeon celebrity (the funny Jennette McCurdy from iCarly)! (For Official Rules and prize details go here).

So buzz on over there now to find out how to get discounts and free supplies just for shopping at Kmart. Plus, your kids can get excited about the chance to win back-to-school related prizes.

How Much is Too Much?

Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God-you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration-what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body. You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

Let's talk children and organized activities. How much is too much and which ones are right for your children?

Who could need us more, but our children? Who could be more powerless than our children? They need us and trust us to do right by them. In our hearts we truly want our children to have the best of everything. The problem arises when what we think is "best" for our children is different from what their Maker designed.

My two oldest children love books and movies, drama, giving speeches, and music. Looking back, I can clearly see how many years I wasted trying to make them participate in the activities all the other kids were doing.

My youngest son makes up creative stories, and then he and his friends act out these adventures with their Beanie Babies. How sad it makes me now to think of those countless hours he spent mindlessly maneuvering around the basketball court, following coaches orders. I forced him to sign up-"for socialization and exercise," I told myself. I realize now he could have received both by running around the front yard with his friends, leading them on fanciful adventures.

In forming our children, God did not create empty vessels, making it the parent's job to fill them, to form their personalities, and to insert creativity or skill into their brain. Rather, God designed our children and turned them over to us to mold into the shape He's already crafted. We need to become students of our children and discover their unique shapes. We also need to give them time to be children and not fill up every spare moment with planned activities.

Questions to ask yourself:

Why am I signing my child up for this activity?
Am I doing it so my child won't be left out?
Have I asked God His thoughts?
Does this activity fit in with my child's natural talents?
Does this activity accomplish peace in our household?

© Tricia Goyer

Like this? Check out Generation NeXt Parenting.

Hearts at Home!

I'm so excited that I'll be speaking at a Hearts at Home conference next year.

One of the things I love about blogging is the exchange of ideas that takes place; after all, what mom can't use a new idea every now and then!


If you are interested in a blog that brings a group of mommy bloggers all to one place, stop by and visit the Hearts at Home blog.

Hearts at Home's contributing bloggers write about motherhood, each with a unique perspective, reflecting on the spiritual, emotional and downright funny aspects of motherhood. Their group of bloggers range from professional speakers to authors to stay-at-home moms, all who share a passion for the profession of motherhood.

The Hearts at Home blog covers a variety of topics, such as practical mom tips, recipes, book reviews, and advice for tackling tough mommy issues.

Take a peek at this great resource and connect with real moms sharing real stories today!

Experiencing God: Step by Step

If you've known me for any amount of time you've probably heard me ask this question, "If you could do anything and know it would succeed what would it be?"

Out of the hundreds of people that I've asked that to, I've only gotten a few answers that had to do with social status or many. (There are less people out there who want to be rich and famous than you might think!) Instead the answers go something like this:

Start a women's ministry in my church.

Write a book that shares God's love.

Teach women how to pray.

Teach a Bible Study.

Raise children who love God.

Write a Bible Study.

Teach men how to become better dads.

Start a marriage ministry.

And my response?

Go for it! If God has placed that on your heart He must have a plan. What is your first step?

That last sentence is key.

If God has given you a desire to serve WITH Him in some area then there has to be a first step. And then a next one. And then a next. The cool thing is that each day's steps will take care of themselves. We don't have to worry about ALL of it. We just need to take each step with God.

This is what Experiencing God says about that:

“You cannot stay where you are and go with God” is a truth seen throughout the Bible. Abraham could not have remained in Ur and experienced God’s promise to him being fulfilled. Moses could not have stayed in the wilderness by the burning bush and seen the redemption of the Israelites from Egypt. Gideon could not remain hiding in the threshing floor and defeat the Midianites. Paul could not have stayed in Damascus and planted churches across Asia Minor. David could not have remained with the sheep on the hillsides and become a great king over Israel.

Too often we want to stay where we are in the comfort of our own home, in our home town, in the job we worked to get, and let God bless us and use us without actually following Him anywhere. The command to “go into all the world and preach the gospel” was given to every believer, not just those standing with Him as Christ ascended into heaven. The question remains, is Christ truly our Lord and we His servants, or do we prefer it the other way around? Have you truly given your life, your future, your family, your job, everything you are and have into the hands of the Master?

The Experiencing God course has made me face the issue of whether God is able to do extraordinary things through an ordinary person. The cool thing is that once I affirmed that God IS able--that He is able to do incredible things through my life--then I've been on an amazing journey with Him.

It's a journey with unlimited possibilities and incredible opportunities. I can't wait to see what's next!

What about you?

What has God been asking YOU to do?

What's the first step?

P.S. This lightpost is from the Czech Republic where God has led my family on two missions trips. How cool is that?!

Making Room for Daddy

Okay ladies, this one is for you. As Gen Xers we've grown up to believe we can have and do it all. We learned if we just try hard enough or want it bad enough we can accomplish anything. As young girls we were told to be assertive and independent, to show our power. And the young men? well they were trained to let us.

For example, when I had my son, I discovered that I had a much easier time letting my husband be my husband, than letting him be my son's dad. As the mother, I spent the most time with our son and pretty much figured I knew what was best for him. I wanted things done my way and I wasn't afraid to tell my husband which way that was!

Even though "mom in charge" seems natural, I've learned by experience that the control we think we want is actually a conflict of interest. When it came to raising our three kids, I thought I knew best. But after a while, I resented my husband for not taking more of a stand and leaving all the work to me.

Have you ever felt that way?

I can't tell you the number of times I prayed for my husband to be the spiritual leader of our home and interact with the kids more. Then one day as I prayed, I felt God saying, "Well then step back. Stop trying to run the show." And you know what? As I stepped back, my husband stepped up to the plate and I've been thankful ever since.

Dads may do things differently than moms would, but different is okay. No, wait-different is exactly how God designed it!

Like this? Check out Generation NeXt Marriage!

Guest Blogger ... Ben Whiting!

How to Use Goals to Drive Dialogue - Learning Fiction from the Bible, Part 2 (read part 1 here).

We're back in John chapter four again. For those who missed my last post, I recommend reading it before this one. The rest of you may want to read verses 1-12 as a refresher.

Last time we left the conversation between Jesus and the woman at the well with the Samaritan woman still confused. She thinks that the conversation is still about physical water, while Jesus is actually talking about eternal life, using water as a metaphor. In verses 13 and 14 he explains the difference between the two waters, but her response shows that she doesn't get it.

Real People Speak for a Reason

In verse 16 Jesus radically changes subjects, or seems to. As you follow the rest of the conversation, it becomes apparent that Jesus really has the same goal he had before, he's just pursuing it differently. During the discussion of waters, Jesus was pointing the Samaritan woman toward the fact that he is the Messiah, the answer to all of her problems. That's what he's doing here as well, this time by demonstrating his supernatural knowledge of her life. Same goal, different plan of attack.

The temptation has struck me before to insert random words into a conversation to create interest and tension—to use the unexpected to knock my protagonist off-balance. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, as long as you ground that randomness later with reason.

A real person has something they hope to achieve by speaking, even if that reason may not be readily apparent to the other person. The words your characters speak need to be internally consistent, not just with their train of thought, which I pointed out last time, but also with their driving desire in the conversation.

If dialogue is war, what does victory look like in the mind of each of your characters?

Real People's Goals Are Often Dynamic

The Samaritan woman's response to Jesus' command to bring her husband is revelatory as well. During this entire conversation she's been trying to figure out Jesus, first when he broke the Jewish mold by speaking with his cultural enemy, and again when he claimed he could give her better water than the well could.

Her goal changes here though, because Jesus just hit a nerve. As he spells out in verse 18, she has had five previous husbands, not including her current, live-in lover. She doesn't want that exposed, so she tries to cover it up with a half-truth—“I have no husband.” No doubt she still has questions about who Jesus is and why he's acting this way, but that goal temporarily falls to the side in favor of trying to hide her secret.

Your character may also have multiple desires driving her at any one time, but one of those must be primary and the others secondary. Those goals can switch positions, and she can even wrestle over which is more important, but ultimately she needs to choose to give one priority. And that goal, whatever it is, should be reflected in what she decides to say.

~o~

Ben Whiting is a full-time English student at the University of Texas at Arlington and co-general editor of the award-winning collegiate publication Marine Creek Reflections. He recently completed the rough draft of his suspense novel, Penumbra.

Does having a Facebook page and Twitter help your writing?

You bet it does!

In July I went to ICRS (The International Christian Retailing Show). At least two dozen times someone stopped me on the floor, "I'm your friend on Facebook" or "I'm following you on Twitter." From there we launched into great conversations. These were people I'd never met before. Some where salesmen working on one of my books. (I had no clue when I befriended them online.) Some were other people in the industry, from publishing houses I've never worked with ... yet we had a launch point with that comment, "I follow you."

Later that month I was back in my home town, Weed, California, for my 20th high school reunion. I hung out with old friends, some that I haven't seen for 20 years. I'm connected with a few of them on Facebook, and it was nice already feeling somewhat "in the know" about each others lives. We chatted and had fun because we'd connected online.

I was at the local carnival and a woman approached me. She was two years ahead of me in high school. I can't remember one conversation we had in high school, but she recently became a friend on Facebook. "Tricia, I love been connected with you. I follow all your posts. I'm the high school librarian now and I buy all your books and recommend them." Yeah!

One more story.

Last fall I connected with someone on Facebook. (She asked to be by friend.) We chatted about whatever. A month later I was invited to Focus on the Family to be on the radio. The person I'd been chatting with was a producer there. They'd been considering me, and she thought she'd connect. I again had no clue. We are still friends.

Another thing I've noticed is that a sort of Facebook "tribe" has formed. My friends talk with each other on my page. Sometimes about me, sometimes just with each other. One reader in Germany shared a recipe with one of my editors in Chicago ... on my page. (I was off on a cruise, but it didn't matter.) People talk about my books. They chat about stuff like reunions and Weed (the city). How cool is that?

I accept all friend invitations. I follow everyone who follows me. People have my trust until they lose it. I daily connect with old friends, readers, publishing folks, friends from church, new friends. No one gets better treatment. I think it pays off. I know it does.

If you'd like to connect:
www.facebook.com/tricia.goyer
www.twitter.com/triciagoyer

Just my .02!

City/Country Girl contest winner...

Thanks to all of you who shared your stories during the contest for Sunflower Serenade's blog tour! Great fun.

The winner of the entire set of Home to Heather Creek and other Guideposts' books is:

Stina Rose said...

I was born and raised in the country. The summer before I graduated from high school, my grandparents took me on a trip to meet some of my distant cousins who lived in Seattle. These two girls were teen models, and for a week they were sure to let me know that I didn't measure up to their standards with my hand-me-down jean shorts and Wal-Mart purchased shirts. That was until we went on a road trip to see Mt. St. Helens. The first afternoon on the road, we stopped at a seculded picnic area, nestled deep into the woods. The trail to the tables was long, and damp, nothing like the concrete sidewalks my cousins were used to. The girls fussed the whole way about ruining their expensive sneakers. I had to giggle, there weren't even any big puddles to wade through. I reached the picnic tables long before my cousins did, and was sent back to make sure that they made it safely. On the way back to meet them, I spotted a large animal track in the on the path. I bent down close to examine the find. My cousins rounded the corner at that moment.

"What are you looking at?"

I didn't say anything, just waited for them to move closer. The squated down next to me and I pointed at the imprint.

"Looks fresh," I said. "See how crisp the edges are? It hasn't been long enough to erode yet."

The girls look wild eyed at one another. "You mean it could still be close?"

"Appears to be."

"But it's so big!"

"It's huge." I admitted. "They don't make them this big where I come from."

The girls looked around nervously. "Are we safe?"

"I think so."

"I'm not staying around here to get eaten by a bear." With one accord, my cousins took off at a dead run toward the picnic area, designer clothing and expensive shoes forgotten.

I looked at the imprint once more time before standing and dusting off my knees. I grinned and shook my head. "I never knew an Elk could be so scary."

Maybe I should have told them, but then again...

Congrats - send my assistant (amy@triciagoyer.com) your mailing address and we'll get your books to you ASAP!

Experiencing God--God is always at work

Today in Unit One of Experiencing God I've been pondering Reality One: God is Always at Work Around You.

This is summed up in John 5:17: But Jesus replied, “My Father is always working, and so am I.”

The same God Christ knew as His Father, is our Heavenly Father today. God was working before He sent Christ to the world. He was working while Christ was in the world. And He continues to work through His Spirit today.

I love how Moses' story ties into this. God heard the cries of the Israelites and He desired their freedom, so God invited Moses to join Him.

It really didn't matter what Moses thought the plan for his life was. What mattered most was God's plan for Moses' life.

Many Christians today have a pre-occupation with knowing God’s will for our lives. I know I've struggled with this before ... and I'm still struggling. There are some areas where it is very evident that God has at work (like with my family and with writing), but there are other areas where it appears God is silent (like with the ever-lengthening adoption process).

The thing it helps me to remember is that God’s focus has always been on getting His people to come into line with His will and with what is on His heart, so that we (I) can adjust our lives (my life) to Him, rather than having God design His plans around us (me).

And what is God's plan? God is and always has been actively drawing people to Himself.

This also means that I do not have to come up with plans for God, or design ways to achieve kingdom goals. God is at work, and when I join Him in His activity, I am in perfect alignment.

When we seek God’s will, He reveals to us what He is doing. When we see His activity, we can then invest our time and energy in His work and not waste time and energy on our plans for God.

Think about the people in your life. Remember that God has been at work in each of their lives since their births (and before!). Your role is not to do the Spirit’s work but to recognize where the Spirit is working in other's lives, and to join Him.

Discussion questions:

Where do you see God at work around you?

How does He want you to join Him?