This is why I write...

Niki at My Journey had this to say after reading Blue Like Play Dough!

By the end of the first page, Tricia’s conversational style had drawn me in. After the 50 or so parenting books I’ve read, I wasn’t expecting any new information, or to have the condition of my heart challenged. I thought I would have to rush through the book looking for highlights I could share to encourage you to read it as well. I was unprepared for all that God would speak to me through Tricia’s words – busy or not.

Win a copy of Blue Like Play Dough for your very own - share your own story here!

Follow the blog tour here!

Play Dough Party Tonight! Fun, Prizes, Connecting!

I"m thrilled to be sending my baby out into the world. The blog tour for the book has already begun ... I'm humbled by the amazing response. I'm celebrating the release of Blue Like Play Dough with a Facebook Launch Party on July 27th Pacific Standard Time 5 - 7 pm!

I'd love to see you there!

I'll be giving away Mommy Play Dough Packs to two party attendees at random! Come test your trivia skills, chat with Me and share your own stories of being shaped by motherhood.

Grab your friends and let’s party! oh, and don't forget your camera! Snap pictures during the party and upload them during the festivities.There will be a prize for the best photo!

If you have any questions - just email my assistant Amy (amy@triciagoyer.com)!

All the info here!

Go-Go (Give One, Get One)

I wrote Blue Like Play Dough because many times moms feel squished and smashed by all the demands of life. It's hard being a mom; yet it's often the hard stuff that changes us for the better.

Like any mom, at times I've felt like a failure. And other times I've felt as if God reached down and added an extra touch of sunshine to the day.

My hope is that my personal stories will encourage other moms to allow themselves to be shaped and molded. And as their children grow and change, they'll be changed into something beautiful, too. My Life, Unscripted and Generation NeXt Parenting are conversations about things that matter to this generation.

People need help and encouragement--not from someone who looks down, pointing a finger in their face, but from someone who has been there and who understands. My goal is to get books in the hands of people who need to see that perfection isn't necessary, and people who can find hope when they realize the hard stuff of life often molds us into better people if we let it.

Together we can make a difference in the lives of those who are in crisis or who just need a little encouragement.

It’s easy! For every copy of Blue Like Play Dough purchased, I’ll donate a copy of My Life Unscripted or Generation NeXt Parenting to a pregnancy, teen or family support ministry (while supplies last).

All you have to do is buy a copy of Blue Like Play Dough on Christianbook, on Amazon, or at your local bookstore, and then come back here to fill out the form here.

That’s it! I’ll periodically share how many books we’ve donated in my newsletter--so be sure to sign up to receive updates.

Blue Like Play Dough Blog Tour and Giveaway!

I'm excited to announce the blog tour for Blue Like Play Dough started Monday! Catch the buzz.

In the squash and squeeze of a mommy's day, could God be shaping something beautiful? In this spiritual memoir, Goyer invites women to discover the extraordinary in the ordinary! Learn to see God's hand lovingly at work in every aspect of your life---from laundry-folding to the umpteenth reading of Goodnight Moon.

So many exciting things happening with this book. Besides the blog tour, I'm also be hosting a FACEBOOK Launch Party and the Get One, Give One Campaign (GO-GO)!

Follow the button for info about Go-Go campaign.



I'm really excited about this program - please help me spread the word about this campaign!

You can follow along the tour here and see what other moms, bloggers, and reviewers have to say about their experience reading Blue Like Play Dough!

And of course I'm giving away copies of the book!

Just leave a comment below telling me how you've been shaped/smooshed/stretched by God as a mother. I'll draw 6 winners at random on August 14th and announce them.

Guest Blogger ... Ben Whiting

How to Keep Dialogue Internally Consistent - Learning Fiction from the Bible, Part 1

A few weeks ago I was reading in the gospel of John and I came to the story of Jesus and the woman at the well. As I worked through the chapter, I began noticing some interesting dynamics in the conversation. I examined the dialogue more closely, and this post is the result—the first of what I expect to be a short series.

Now, just because the Bible is the best-selling book of all time, that doesn't mean I'm recommending you copy all of the mechanics you find in it. The Bible wasn't written with entertainment as it's central focus, as most of today's fiction is, so there are things in it that would be frowned on in modern narrative. Still, I think we can learn several things about the way real people talk. First:

Real People Communicate (Presumably) Unknown Information

We'll pick up the story already in progress, in the middle of John 4. Jesus is waiting beside a water well for the disciples to return with food. A woman comes along to draw water, and Jesus asks her to get him a drink. Let's see what happens:

The Samaritan woman said to him, "How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?" Now because John is not writing to entertain, he pauses here to explain that Jews don't deal with Samaritans. Even without that, however, her question conveys much of the information without telling.

Too often writers hit their readers over the head with blatant information dump in dialogue, which might look like this: “Why would you ask me for a drink, since your people hate my people because we are not pure-bred Jews and do not worship the same way you do?”

That example doesn't seem natural because both characters already know the information passing between them. Real conversation doesn't work that way. Jesus and the woman know the history at play here, so the woman just asks why he isn't acting the same way everyone else does. The reader is smart and realizes there has been some bad water under this bridge, even without knowing all the details.

Note: If one character wrongly assumes that the other person doesn't know something, it is perfectly natural for them to mention it.

Real People Think Different Things During a Conversation

Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." There is another technique at play here that makes dialogue more realistic—the oblique response.

On the surface, Jesus' answer just seems random—how does that answer her question? This happens all the time in real conversation because everyone involved has their own thought processes going on throughout. It's like two rivers that are both headed north—from a distance they match each other, but if you look at an individual bend they may appear to be going in radically different directions.

Jesus isn't being quite as random as it looks though. The woman is questioning his behavior, and Jesus answers by pointing her to his identity. Subtly, he tells her that he is God's gift and can in turn give her eternal life. She doesn't get what he's saying, as evidenced by her next sentence (basically, “Where's your bucket to draw water with?”), but the fact that he is God come to offer her eternal life actually does explain why he is departing from customary practices to engage her.

The bottom line with all of these responses is that they are internally consistent with the person saying them. The Samaritan woman doesn't mention a slew of things that she expects Jesus to know. In response, Jesus offers an answer that reflects his more complete (read: spiritual) understanding of the situation, while her words show that her perspective remains trapped in the physical realm.

Try incorporating this into your own fiction. Know what each character is thinking, and make their words consistent with those thoughts. An answer may only make sense to you, as the author, and the character saying it, but resist the urge to explain. Leave a few things under the surface. Your readers will probably follow what's going on better than you think, and they'll enjoy figuring it out themselves.

That isn't all of the conversation, so next time we'll look at a few more characteristics of engaging, natural dialogue.

~o~

Ben Whiting is a full-time English student at the University of Texas at Arlington and co-general editor of the award-winning collegiate publication Marine Creek Reflections. His current writing project, Penumbra, is a contemporary suspense novel that he hopes to finish over the summer.

He Said, She Said...

My husband and I were recently quoted in Redbook in a profile piece about marriage.

Tricia
"Approach marriage like a team."
Tricia's mom and step-dad were models of what not to do. She says, "They lived two separate lives. They did their own thing. They rarely spent time together and they did not have a united front. As a kid, I knew that every time my dad told me "no" I could just go to my mom." They divorced when Tricia was 18. So, she and her husband, John spend time together. "We go so
far as to head to bed at the same time every night even though I'm a morning person. I choose to stay up later to spend time with him. We also approach marriage as a team. We decide on things together and provide a united front."

John
"Show affection"
John's parents, who have been together 45-years, still hold hands and cuddle on the couch. They also cross the line when it comes to male/female roles. She's currently working outside the house while he's at home. He cleans and cooks while she works. John says he and Tricia have modeled their marriage after these things. They kiss and hold our hands in public, and John is very much involved in domestic responsibilities.

Books & Such agency hosts Writers' Night Out

Do you love to read and/or aspire to write professionally?

Join "Books and Such" agency writers for a Writers' Night Out on Twitter (hashtag #wno), July 22, 7-9 CST. You could win books, critiques, coaching, and at least one big surprise!

Authors giving prizes away include CBA bestselling writers Robin Jones Gunn, Tricia Goyer, Karen O'Connor, and Gayle Roper.

Fun - please join me!

Teens and Purity

1. Consider purity. What does “purity” mean? Freedom.
pu⋅ri⋅ty –noun

1. the condition or quality of being pure; freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, etc.: the purity of drinking water.
2. freedom from any admixture or modifying addition.
3. ceremonial or ritual cleanness.
4. freedom from guilt or evil; innocence.
5. physical chastity; virginity.

Some things I wish I had practiced as a teen:

Consider God’s best choice. If Jesus were sitting across from you, looking into your eyes, what would He say? What is His best that He wants for you?

Make it your choice … not your parents’ choice. Looking back in five or ten years what would make you proud?

Consider purity in your mind, body, soul and spirit. Purity isn’t just about sex; it’s about every part of you. It’s about integrity. It’s about being whole people. It’s also about helping others stay pure. Has something you said, or did, or wore become a stumbling block for someone else?

Consider marriage … and your future spouse. The bonding of two people for life. Every time you are emotionally or physically intimate with someone you’re giving a piece of yourself away.

Look to good role models. All of us follow where we are led. Who to you look to for inspiration? Do you follow behind people who live with integrity and purity?

Be a good role model. Consider your life. Are you living with integrity and purity?

Get cleaned up. None of us are completely pure. Psalm 139:23-24: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Take your mistakes to God. Bring them to Him in prayer.

Learn from others’ mistakes. You don’t have to mess up to learn the pain and heart-ache it brings.

Consider what love is. Love is not sex. Going “all the way” with someone doesn’t prove your love. (No matter what they show on television.) Going all the way is committing to someone for life! True love is shown through life-long commitment and by valuing the other person. You are the one responsible for setting limits on a relationship.

Pregnancy CAN happen to you. Having sex, even so called "protected" sex, can lead to pregnancy. It can happen even to kids from a good family and homeschooled kids. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is to not have sex. Also, you can get an STD from physical contact alone. If any part of the other person touches any part of you … you can get an STD.

Even “good girls” get pregnant. Likewise, being a “good guy” isn’t enough to stop you from getting your girlfriend pregnant. Having a good report card, being a good person, having an important parent, or being conscientious will not protect you from pregnancy. According to teenpregnancy.org, 1 in 3 young women get pregnant at least once before they turn 20—good girls included.

Most teens wished they had waited. Sex before marriage can lead to pregnancy and STDs, but there is also emotional baggage. According to teenpregnancy.org, 60% of teens “wished they had waited longer” to have sex. When you have sex with someone you are bonded to them for life.

Plan his/her actions BEFORE the situation arises. Do: set boundaries. Do not: get into situations that will cause you to compromise decisions. Making good plans can help you stick to goals.
Consider media’s wrong messages. The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are chock full of material sending wrong messages.

There’s a thing called secondary purity or secondary virginity. You can say “no” even if they’ve said "yes" before.

Ask your parents to interview your dates. Interview your possible date yourself, too, him/her about morals and boundaries. Tell him/her your expectations.
Seek God … often. “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20:15b (NIV). Listen to His still, small voice.

Books for teens:
• Every Young Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge (Waterbrook)
• So You’re About to Be a Teenager: Godly Advice for Preteens on Friends, Love, Sex, Faith, and Other Life Issues, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, with Samuel and Rebecca Rainey
• Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty, Dannah Gresh (Moody Publishers)

Like this? Check out My Life Unscripted

Love's Pursuit by Siri Mitchell

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Love's Pursuit
Bethany House (June 1, 2009)
by
Siri Mitchell


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Siri Mitchell graduated from the University of Washington with a business degree and worked in various levels of government. As a military spouse, she has lived all over the world, including in Paris and Tokyo. Siri enjoys observing and learning from different cultures. She is fluent in French and loves sushi.

But she is also a member of a strange breed of people called novelists. When they’re listening to a sermon and taking notes, chances are, they’ve just had a great idea for a plot or a dialogue. If they nod in response to a really profound statement, they’re probably thinking, “Yes. Right. That’s exactly what my character needs to hear.” When they edit their manuscripts, they laugh at the funny parts. And cry at the sad parts. Sometimes they even talk to their characters.

Siri wrote 4 books and accumulated 153 rejections before signing with a publisher. In the process, she saw the bottoms of more pints of Ben & Jerry’s than she cares to admit. At various times she has vowed never to write another word again. Ever. She has gone on writing strikes and even stooped to threatening her manuscripts with the shredder.

A Constant Heart was her sixth novel. Two of her novels, Chateau of Echoes and The Cubicle Next Door were Christy Award finalists. She has been called one of the clearest, most original voices in the CBA.


ABOUT THE BOOK

In the small Puritan community of Stoneybrooke, Massachusetts, Susannah Phillips stands out both for her character and beauty. She wants only a simple life but soon finds herself pursued by the town's wealthiest bachelor and by a roguish military captain sent to protect them. One is not what he seems and one is more than he seems.

In trying to discover true love's path, Susannah is helped by the most unlikely of allies, a wounded woman who lives invisible and ignored in their town. As the depth, passion, and sacrifice of love is revealed to Susannah, she begins to question the rules and regulations of her childhood faith. In a community where grace is unknown, what price will she pay for embracing love?

If you would like to read the first chapter of Love's Pursuit, go HERE

DON'T let the enemy win...

When I was on Focus on the Family radio talking about Gen Xers and marriage there was one story that struck a chord with many listeners. It was an experience that I had when an old boyfriend contacted me. Like I mentioned in my FOF interview (and in my book Generation NeXt Marriage) :
1. The email was totally unexpected.
2. Even more ... the emotions were totally unexpected, too.

I won't go into details, but it was my first boyfriend. Someone I thought I loved when I was a teen. Someone I thought I'd forgotten ... until he started emailing.

Looking back there are MANY things I could have done differently, such as not responding! (Just deleting the email would have been wise!) But I did email him back. Also, within days I realized that I had gotten myself into a sticky situation. Right away I got my praying friends involved, "Help! My old boyfriend popped up ... pray I do the right thing!"

Through months of prayer and struggle these are the things that helped me.

1. I shared my struggle with my friends and asked them to pray. I was surprised that many of them had the same struggles in the past.

2. I told my husband, and I promised to break off ALL contact. He prayed with me. He became my accountability partner. Every day he prayed with me and asked me how I was doing. He also asked if there had been any contact ... and on some days I confessed that there had been ... so we prayed some more.

3. I dug into God's word. I read the Bible seeking TRUTH to replace the lies. I realized there was an enemy who wanted to steal, kill, and destroy. It was during this time the song "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns came out ... I remember weeping in the car as I heard it. God wanted me to listen to HIS voice of Truth above the lies.

4. I thought about all that the enemy wanted to destroy in my life: my marriage, my kids, my witness, and my ministry. I got really mad at what Satan was trying to do. The madder I got, the easier it became NOT to be tempted by this other person.

5. I took my thoughts captive. Every time my mind tried to take me back to those "romantic moments" I'd stop those thoughts. I'd think instead of my wonderful, amazing husband. I'd sing praises to God. I'd refocus.

6. I prayed for an undivided heart. I prayed Psalm 139:23-24. I prayed that God would clean my heart of anything that shouldn't be there.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

7. I also had another group of friends (made up of writers) pray over me. Being there, in their presence made a big difference! To hear their words, feel their love went a long way.

8. That night after my friends gathered around and prayed for me I remember laying in bed and going back over that relationship in my mind ... this time I wasn't thinking of it as the romantic teen romance that I once had. Instead, I realized it was two teens that needed Jesus and tried to find happiness in each other. So that night I went through the moments that I remembered and prayed over them. I asked God to forgive me. I prayed for this old boyfriend--that he would find Christ. I prayed that God would cleanse me and give me a pure heart for my husband.

Five years later I can say without a doubt that year was one of the hardest of my life. Yet, I am thankful for that time too. God wanted me to have a pure heart. He knew all the junk inside that needed to be cleaned out. He trusted that I would seek Him and the help of my friends. (This gave me confidence ... God allowed this to bring me to Him NOT to bring me down!) And ... God wanted me to discover a marriage that was better than it had ever been before.

Also, it's not over. The funny/sad thing is that the VERY DAY I was in Colorado Springs taping the Focus on the Family interview another email from my old boyfriend arrived. It was Satan's last attempt, I knew. And as I prepared to go to the radio station I emailed him one last note: Please DO NOT contact me again. I copied by husband on the note, too. My old emotions didn't win. God did. I'm glad!

Maybe you're having the same struggles ... or know someone who is. DON'T let the enemy win. The "love" for that other person that was ... and that you think still could be ... is only a lie. Seek God. Seek to strengthen your marriage. I guarantee you'll NEVER regret it!

Writing Q & A

Q: For a long time I've wanted to write an autobiography and was wondering if you had any suggestions. Would my best route be to write the whole thing first, or write a brief report and send it to several publishers and see what response I'd get. How did you get your start? Thanks in advance.

A: Publishers request a complete manuscript now. Agents, for that matter, do too. Also, these days you cannot approach a publisher without an agent, so you have to win over an agent first.

My advice is to start writing the whole thing. Also, if you can, attend a writer's conference. At the conference you can meet with editors and agents and talk to them face-to-face. They'll get to know you and they'll also be able to give feedback for your story.

I hope that helps!

2 things I've learned...

As a wife...It took me a few years, but after I became a mom I learned how important a dad is in the picture. I knew I was important ... I fed, bathed, dressed, and spent my days with my kids. Yet they needed my husband's sense of humor. They needed my husband's rough-housing. They needed my husband to let them try things that weren't always safe. I realized that I didn't have all the answers yet my husband and I made a great team.

As a mother... After I became a mom I also started volunteering and helping other people. I was trying to teach my kids how to share, how to think about others, how to do good ... and I realized that the best way to teach my kids was to model it myself. I started helping teenage moms, and I invited people into our home--feeding them and mentoring them. And as I loved them my kids saw how to love.

What about you - what have you learned as a wife? As a mother?

For more I've leaned as a mother, check out Blue Like Play Dough. And don't forget, for every copy of Blue Like Play Dough purchased, I’ll donate a copy of My Life Unscripted or Generation NeXt Parenting to a pregnancy, teen or family support ministry (while supplies last).

Find out more here

Are You Keeping Secrets from Your Husband?

I was delighted to discover I had been quoted in an article for American Baby Magazine: Are You Keeping Secrets from Your Husband? By Alisa Bowman, June 2009 Issue

She had a crush -- and it was mutual!

When Tricia Goyer's high school boyfriend e-mailed her out of the blue, the Kalispell, Montana, mother of three didn't know what to do at first. "I was suddenly struggling with renewed feelings for him," she says.

Fess up? A one-way crush (as in, your movie-star fantasy or secret giddiness about a dad you see at the playground) needn't come out of the vault. But if there's two-way flirting that turns to real romantic conversation (or action), that's a whole other ballgame. "Just because two people love each other doesn't mean they never fantasize about someone else," says Vee Alexander, a marital and family therapist in Sherman Oaks, California. "But it becomes a problem when you act on the fantasy."

What she did: Tricia told her husband, but it wasn't easy. She cried. He cried too. Then they hugged and prayed together. "When I confessed everything and realized my husband still loved me, I realized that I had never loved him more," Tricia says. "We worked through this together, and our marriage is stronger because of it."

For the rest of the story ... check out Generation NeXt Marriage where I talk about this experience and many others related to marriage.

The Kidnapping of Kenzie Thorn

Love this old-timey title! A sweet read - don't miss it. I'm thrilled for about my fabulous editor's first novel. Go Liz! I've got a copy to give away - leave a comment and I'll choose a winner on Friday!

About the book:

Title: The Kidnapping of Kenzie Thorn

Author: Liz Johnson

ISBN: 978-0373443482

Release Date: 7/14/09

Genre: Christian Fiction/Romantic Suspense


Summary:

Myles Parsons is just another inmate in Kenzie Thorn’s GED course until he kidnaps her, offering only a feeble explanation–that he’s actually FBI Special Agent Myles Borden. Terrified, Kenzie doesn’t want to believe his story of being undercover to protect her. Moreover, she can’t believe that someone might really want her dead.

But just when Myles thinks he has her out of harm’s way, his plans start to fall apart. He attempts to take Kenzie to a safe house—but the stubborn woman won’t go! So together they must uncover the clues that will reveal a most shocking perpetrator. All the while Myles tries to keep his distance from Kenzie … but finds himself falling in love.


About the Author:

Liz Johnson grew up reading Christian fiction, and always dreamed of being part of the publishing industry. After graduating from Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff with a degree in public relations, she set out to fulfill her dream. In 2006 she got her wish when she accepted a publicity position at a major trade book publisher. While working as a publicist in the industry, she decided to pursue her other dream-becoming an author. Along the way to having her novel published, she completed the Christian Writers Guild apprentice course and wrote articles for several magazines.

Liz lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado, where she enjoys theater, ice skating, volunteering in her church's bookstore and making frequent trips to Arizona to dote on her nephew and three nieces. She loves stories of true love with happy endings. The Kidnapping of Kenzie Thorn is her first novel. Keep up with Liz's adventures in writing at www.lizjohnsonbooks.com.

Great Summer Reads on the Cheap!

I know that everyone is pinching pennies these days, that's why I wanted to share something cool that Multnomah is doing ... they're providing a Value Fiction Collection. They're offering awesome novels for the low price of $6.99! Great for summer reading.

If you're a reader like me you should check it out. These are some great titles. I love Lisa's Northern Lights Series, and Jane Kirkpatrick is another favorite author of mine. Awesome books!

Here is the full list of the available titles:

The Captain's Bride (ISBN-13: 978-0-307-45806-3)

by Lisa Tawn Bergren, book one in Northern Lights series. Experience an epic saga of perseverance and passion, faith and fidelity in a sea adventure from the gentle hills of Bergen, Norway, to rocky coast of Camden, Maine.


Tommorrow’s Treasure (ISBN-13: 978-0-307-45808-7)

by Linda Lee Chaikin, book one in East of the Sun series. Family secrets and a passion for a man of a higher social class draw Evy Varley into a dangerous mystery and disturbing questions about her past.


The Silver Sword (ISBN-13: 978-0-307-45809-4)

by Angela Elwell Hunt, book one in The Heirs of Cahira O’ Connor series. The auburn-haired O’Conner women push against social limits. Their tale is one of peril, courage, vengeance, love and sacrifice.


The Veil (ISBN-13: 978-0-307-45807-0)

by Diane Noble. Hannah McClary dares to question the truth behind the shroud of secrecy that cloaks a nineteenth-century sect known as the Saints. Soon she and Lucas Knight, the young man she loves, find themselves fighting for their lives.


Under the Distant Sky (ISBN-13: 978-1-60142-245-3)

by Al and Joanna Lacy, book one in Hannah of Fort Bridger. Join Hannah and Solomon Cooper as they journey by wagon train to a new life on the frontier. Will they overcome tragedy and great opposition as they strive to live their dream?


A Promise for Breanna (ISBN-13: 978-1-60142-244-6)

by Al & Joanna Lacy, book one in Angel of Mercy series. Suspense, danger, romance and spiritual truth each play a

part in this heroine’s life as she faces the man who once broke her heart and led her to mistrust men.


Maire (ISBN-13: 978-1-60142-256-0)

by Linda Windsor, book one in Fires of Gleannmara. Maire, Warrior Queen of Gleannmara, finds her fierce heart gentled by a reformed mercenary, a Christian, who’s taken hostage during a raid.


A Gathering of Finches (ISBN-13: 978-1-60142-247-7)

by Jane Kirkpatrick. A turn-of-the-century Oregon coastal couples’ life is seen through the eyes of the wife, her sister, and her Indian maid who discover reasons why money and possessions can’t buy happiness, forgiveness or relieve consequences of choices.

Make Your Marriage ROCK today with these 12 Things:

Want to make your marriage rock? Here are 12 ways to get started:

1. Send your husband off to work with a smile on his face. Have a good attitude. Pray for him. Talk about his upcoming day. Plant a good kiss on him before he leaves. Wave good-bye from the window.

2. Think of five things your husband would appreciate that day. Do them and see if he notices.

3. Greet your husband at the end of the day with a smile. (Even if you've had a rough day.) Make a point to welcome him. Kiss him good. Have some semblance of order in the first room he enters. Have the table set for dinner—even if you haven’t starting cooking yet.

4. Give your husband wind-down time as he first enters. Don’t start complaining about the kids just yet.

5. After dinner snuggle with your husband. Sit down with him. Ask about his day.

6. Listen to your husband’s work concerns. As the days pass, check in about these concerns.

7. Don’t talk bad about your hubby to friends. Praise him around others.

8. Meet his physical needs. (Yes, you know what this means!)

9. Encourage him. Tell him how sexy he is. He still thinks of himself as that high school jock. A few words of praise go a long way.

10. Call your husband on the phone during day. Tell him you’re thinking about him. (Email works too!)

11. Support his dreams. Ask about them. Encourage them.

12. Don’t put yourself down in front of him. Treat yourself like the princess he married. He doesn’t want to notice your flaws … so don’t point them out!

What do YOU do that makes YOUR marriage rock? I'm always looking for new ideas!

How people in our lives affect our writing ...

My grandfather was the neighbor everyone loved. When he was 82 he'd go around and mow the yards of all the "old people" in his mobile home park. If he got strawberries from his 10 sq ft. garden he'd share them with the neighbors. I've learned kindness from him ... or at least that's the goal I'm aiming for. And as I write, I've been told my care for people comes through.

My father-in-law is a man who listens to God's voice. If He feels God stirring his heart he jumps in the car and just GOES. Many, many times I've been having a hard, challenging day and he just shows up! I hear the knock, or the phone rings, and I know it's Him. Then He hugs on me and tells me how special I am. He prays with me, and He doesn't care about anything else. His plans don't matter in comparison to God's plans.

I'm trying to be like that. I'm trying to listen and just do what I feel God's asking. I'm also learning to be brave--to pray with a friend RIGHT THERE. To make the call. To write the words.

Everyday I have an agenda of what I'd like to write about. Sometimes God changes that. I feel my heart stirred and I work according to His desire. It's amazing what comes out. It's amazing how many book ideas come from that heeding.

Just as good influences impacts my words, the challenging stuff in life does too. In my novels I've had numerous characters who have had fathers who have abandoned them. In other novels, my main character is trying to "feel worthy" in his/her father's eyes. My sister (who I met in 2006) wept as she read Arms of Deliverance. Yes, the book is a about a B-17 bomber pilot, a Jew trying to hide as an Aryan, and a female war correspondent, but what the book is really about is a young woman who finally meets her biological dad and will do anything to get his attention--even join a B-17 bombing raid over Berlin to get the story that will finally impress him.

Many people just think my novels are heart-felt stories, but those who really know me see my heart.

Of course, this emotional writing impacts non-fiction, too. My newest book Blue Like Play Dough is a memoir that highlights these emotional moments and uses them to discuss themes in parenting. I tell about the time my new stepdad dropped me off at a birthday party and only after he drove off did I realize he left me at the wrong place. The story shares how, at five-years-old, I walked two miles to my aunt's house. And then I go on to share that as a mom I too often try to take care of myself. By myself. I have a hard time trusting God. I'm afraid of being left behind.

Blue Like Play Dough doesn't come out until July 21, but I've handed out copies to friends from church. I've had more women come up to me (or calling) in tears than with any other book. My hurt places touch their hearts. They share their stories. They say they often feel the same.

The danger, of course, is that most of these memories involve real people who are still involved in my life.

Because I write about real people, I discuss these things with them before they go in print. Either that or I don't send them a copy of the book when it's done! (Smile.) And the truth is that some of these people would never buy my book. If I didn't send it to them they'd never get a copy. Maybe that's just another way of protecting myself ... or maybe protecting them from the truth of my heart.

Truth comes out in the messages of my books because it tumbles around for a while in my heart first.

This is just as important...

I’m a gold-star loving girl. Wouldn’t it be great if we went through life filling a gold-star chart and feeling appreciated for every small task we were to achieve?

“Great dinner, Mom.” Gold Star.
“Thanks for the ride.” Gold Star.
“That’s the best book I’ve ever read.” Gold Star.

The stars would appear and line up in a neat row, hanging above our heads as we’d move through the day. They’d brighten our path—as stars do. They’d confirm we were doing what we needed to be doing and living the type of life that would make God (and our mothers) proud.

Of course in life we often don’t receive gold stars. We help/bless/nourish the lives of other people, and sometimes—if we want to state the truth—all we feel is tired.

I remember feeling this way not too long ago. I was nearing a book deadline (which has often been the case lately) and my Grandma needed a ride to the store. Usually I enjoy taking her. We go to lunch and make a day of it. This day that was not the case.

The hardest thing was that my grandma took FOREVER to shop. The tension of my deadline restricted my chest as I hurried through the store, checked out, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, after thirty minutes I saw my Grandma getting into the checkout line. And at seeing her pushing her cart—her wide smile greeting the checker—my heart melted. The tension was gone. The worries of the deadline shrunk like a wool sweater in a hot dryer.

This is just as important as any book you’re writing …

The words filled my mind and then they were gone, and at that moment I understood. It’s not about the tasks … it’s about God, walking with His love, in His love, throughout the day. Seeing each moment as part of His design to connect with Him.

I was reminded of this truth again this morning as I read this quote from Sister Wendy, “All life is holy. If we are truly oriented toward God, then our slightest activities—shaving, reading the newspaper, putting out the cat—are a form of prayer.”

Sister Wendy goes on to say: “… How can we doubt that at every moment Jesus was intimately united with His Father? Providing wine for the wedding guests at Cana was as sacramental for Him as feeding the apostles with His body and blood at the Last Supper.”

Everyday, ordinary, time consuming, patience-stretching stuff is what life is about. Loving God, and turning to Him prayer, don’t only happen in the solitude moments. They happen wherever we, whatever the challenge, as we turn our minds and our hearts to Him.

Even at the end at a checkout line. Even there.

I just have to say that I love my library card!

I'm a wife, mother of three, and homeschool teacher. In addition to that I'm the author of twenty books ... but it didn't start out that way.

I first fell in love with the library when I was in 6th grade. My parents moved close to the library (about two miles away), and I'd ride my bike there every day during summer. The librarians became my mentors and books became my friends. I signed up for the reading program and made it my goal to read as many books as possible! I still have a newspaper clipping from when I was eleven and had a pile of books in front of me ... I was the Reader of the Week and very proud!

One time I learned that reading could be very dangerous. I remember riding home one summer day in 1982 with two large shopping bags of books on the handle bars of my bike. The problem was that to get home I had to go down a very large hill ... and it turned out that the books on the front were heavier than me, and I flipped over the handlebars. Ouch! Thankfully, I was okay. Also, that didn't even slow my love for reading.

When I had kids of my own I went to the library once a week and we checked out books. PILES of books. Sometimes I'd have to load the kids into the car and then I'd have to go back for the books. There were times I had to make more than one trip. Since we homeschooled, I made reading library books the core of our curriculum, and when my kids were old enough for the summer reading program you can bet I signed them up!

More than that, when I got the idea that I wanted to be an author I turned to the library for help. I checked out books on writing and research books. I still do. I buy many books, but I check out even more. The cool thing is the librarians know me and they're always asking what book I'm working on. They're excited when I have a new book in print.

The most amazing part of my love of the library is that I didn't grow up in a reading family--the library opened up the world of books to me. I don't even remember owning any books as a child or being read to. If it wasn't for the library I'm not sure where I would be today ... would I be an author and homeschooling mom? I doubt it.

So to all you librarians out there ... thank you for all you do. You Rock!

Confidential Life of Eugenia Cooper

"I haven't started packing for the Czech Republic yet, but I do have one thing in the pile. The Confidential Life of Eugenia Cooper. The name intrigues me, and I love the cover! How could anyone not want to read this book?"

About the book:
This Wild West adventure just might be the life she was meant to live.

The future is clearly mapped out for New York socialite Eugenia “Gennie” Cooper, but she secretly longs to slip into the boots of her favorite dime-novel heroine and experience just one adventure before settling down. When the opportunity arises, Gennie jumps at the chance to experience the Wild West, but her plans go awry when she is drawn into the lives of silver baron Daniel Beck and his daughter and finds herself caring for them more than is prudent–especially as she’s supposed to go back to New York and marry another man.

As Gennie adapts to the rough-and-tumble world of 1880s Colorado, she must decide whether her future lies with the enigmatic Daniel Beck or back home with the life planned for her since birth. The question is whether Daniel’s past–and disgruntled miners bent on revenge–will take that choice away from her.

“The Confidential Life of Eugenia Cooper is a fast-paced story full of fun, action, drama, and love.”
–Mary Connealy, author of Calico Canyon, Petticoat Ranch, and Gingham Mountain

“If you loved Cathy Marie Hake, give yourself a treat with The Confidential Life of Eugenia Cooper.”
–Lauraine Snelling, author of the Red River Series and One Perfect Day

About Kathleen:
KATHLEEN MILLER Y’BARBO is a tenth-generation Texan and a mother of three grown sons and a teenage daughter. She is a graduate of Texas A&M University and an award-winning novelist of Christian fiction whose first published work jumped onto the Christian Booksellers Association bestseller list in its first month of release. Kathleen is a former treasurer for the American Christian Fiction Writers, and is a member of the Author’s Guild, Inspirational Writers Alive, Words for the Journey Christian Writers Guild, and the Fellowship of Christian Authors. In addition, she is a sought-after speaker, and her kids think she’s a pretty cool mom, too…most of the time, anyway.

How has your world changed lately?

This is a few things I've noticed.

Overall, I've all seen a lot of struggles with parenting and marriages. In the last two days John and I have received phone calls from two couples wanting us to mentor them. One couple was younger--one is quite a bit older. I know that economy issues are a huge part of that. We have friends losing their jobs. Our best friends are losing their house. Even John and I had the conversation about what we'd do if he lost his job. For a new era of hope ... there isn't much of it around here in rural Montana.

I think overall a lot of moms are struggling too. I've handed my author copies of Blue Like Play Dough out to a few friends and my pastors' wives. I've had many people come up to me (or call) with tears in their eyes. They think they're the only one struggling. They feel like they're alone. I think it's a time when women need to bond together. We need to be here for each other. We need to help those who are struggling even more than we are.

When we think that we can't give and serve, that's exactly what we need to do. We need to mentor young women, spend time with our friends, and meet with other couples. Yet in this recession it seems we're going fast and faster just to survive. We have to choose to give when all we want to do is collapse.

Right now our family is fundraising to go to the Czech Republic. CHALLENGING but good, too. It's bringing us together, and it's helping us to trust.

At the pregnancy center where I volunteer, we are seeing a TON of women coming into our resource center needing diapers, baby items, etc. What we used to go through in a year, we're using up in a couple of months. Also, giving is down. When the need is greater, there is less for people to give.

Of course, like I say in Blue Like Play Dough, it's the hard stuff in life that molds us into the people God desires us to be. When things are scary, we learn to hope. When the world is filled with more questions than answers, we learn to trust. When everyone around us seems to be on overdrive, we learn patience. When we are looking for something to fill the gaping hole that the pleasures and entertainment of the world used to fill, we learn self-control.

Yes, it's true, the world is changing. And for many this is a scary thing. But the one thing I do know, God never changes. He's just as good today as he was yesterday. He can be trusted. He wants you to turn to Him ... and it's in His hand the transformation will begin.

Who is your audience?

Do you know? I have to admit I'm still trying to figure this out, after all, people's tastes are as varied as the people themselves. There are those who read cozy mysteries, others suspense, others romance (of varying degrees). And while there are many CBA (Christian Book Association) readers who love to read the latest new and different thing, there is a large audience of people who enjoy sweet stories, simply told. These books are engaging and entertaining. And this segment of readers appreciate these books. And (I have to say) they're a very good audience to write for.

Sometimes when I write I think of a young mom who needs to be swept away with a good story. Or sometimes that business executive who grabs a book to read as he or she heads out the door for yet another business trip.

Sometimes, I picture a sweet lady from Iowa who meets for Senior luncheons, goes to Bingo, and curls up at night with a good book because there's nothing today on TV that she finds uplifting or interesting. This woman loves Amish, family dramas, and prairie romances the best. She's tried some of those other books but they're just too wordy or too intense. She just wants a simple read that she can pass on to her friend Mable when she's done. I've written some WWII historical that this woman wouldn't like (too intense), but my Guidepost books are right up this lady's alley. I enjoy writing books for this woman. Just as I like writing for that harried mom and business exec too.

I have to say, though. Just because books are sweet and simple doesn't mean they're easier to write. Writing about people and relationships takes work. With these types of books originality comes through depth of emotion. Or through fun, interesting, lovable and quirky characters.

Am I okay writing for readers who have different tastes? Yes. Mostly because I like to read different types of books. What I write is also a representation of the many facets of what makes up me ... readers get a glimpse of that.

A few of my WWII books are set inside concentration camps. I have one friend who couldn't read them because they were too intense. A lover of history, I write these stories through the eyes of unique characters--a 13-year-old Jewish violinist or a pregnant Jew hiding as an Aryan. The point-of-view made these books different than other WWII novels out there. It's yet another way of being original. It's yet another way of showing a fragment of me and my interests.

Whatever I write, I strive to write manuscripts that creative and original for the audience I'm writing for. And I think readers appreciate that. They can tell I'm thinking of them ... because I am.