Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Stories I Had to Share

Voices quieted. Eyes lowered. Hands trembled as the two veterans revisited the place that was never far from their thoughts.

I never thought twice about World War II. A stay-at-home mom, I enjoyed writing about parenting. With three kids under ten, I had plenty to write about.

Then came the trip to Europe with two friends. They were both novelists, researching for works-in-progress. And myself … I was still coming to terms with my grandfather's death from cancer. When we knew there was no use in Grandpa fighting any longer, I brought him home and cared for him for four months. After juggling hospice visits, housecleaning, and kids’ homework, a relaxing time with friends was just what I needed.

To be honest, when my fellow travelers told me the final research stop was Mauthausen concentration camp in Austria, it was the last thing I wanted to do. Why not stop by a museum in Vienna or attend a Mozart concert in the park? I’d witnessed death first hand. I didn’t need to hear about atrocities that took place decades ago.

But instead of giving us a tour of the camp, Martha—the historian—invited us into her home. She served us tea and biscuits. And then she started telling us stories.

“Near the end of the war, there was much confusion.” Martha’s thin hands spread jam on the flaky roll. “German guards knew both the Americans and Russians neared. Many officers fled. Of course, the approaching Americans had no idea what awaited them. Twenty-three GIs on reconnaissance came upon a camp filled with thin, skeletal men and women. They opened the gates, and 25,000 prisoners were liberated.”

I thought about my grandfather. During his last days we’d discussed many things. He told me about growing up in Kansas with ten brothers and sisters during the Great Depression. He told me about moving to California during the Dust Bowl. He’d mention the war—only briefly—but I noted the pain in his eyes and quickly changed the subject. Yet as I sat listening to Martha I wondered about those twenty-three men. Did they still live? Did horrific memories plague them? Did they realize that even after all these years a historian still shared their story?

My tea grew cold as I listened. Martha continued, telling us about the first person into the camp.

“She was a Nazi officer’s wife. She didn’t like what was happening. Her husband had fled and as soon as the gates were open she took her two children into the camp and fed and cared for the prisoners. To this day the survivors still speak of her beauty and her tender care.”

We left Martha’s home that day and my heart was full. It wasn’t rest I had needed, but a new passion. More than anything I wanted to write this amazing story.

When I arrived home, I contacted the 11th Armored Division and asked if any of the men were still alive. A short list of names and addresses was sent to me. Excitement, mixed with wonder, surged through me as I wrote them each a note. Would these men share their stories?

The first response arrived in my mailbox less than a week later. Not only did LeRoy wish to talk to me—he invited me to the 59th reunion of the 11th Armored Division, stating that many of the men were eager to talk to me.

I asked a friend to join me, and together we flew across the country. I assumed it would take a few days for the men to warm up to me. I never expected the line of men waiting to talk to me, photos in hand, when I arrived.

The first two men I talked to where Charlie and Arthur. They’d been friends during the war and sixty years later they still finished each other’s sentences. They laughed as they shared their antics, like the time Charlie’s boots accidentally got “baked” in the oven. And then they spoke of the camps.

Voices quieted. Eyes lowered. Hands trembled as the two veterans revisited the place that was never far from their thoughts. Other veterans shared their personal experiences, and although they were old men, I saw the look of young heroes in their gazes.

I took the many, many recorded stories and used them as the inspiration for my first novel, From Dust and Ashes. After four years in print, it still sells well and has been translated to Dutch and German.

From that first reunion, I heard other stories too. One man’s story about an orchestra of camp prisoners at Mauthausen resulted in my novel Night Song. Another about a man’s experiences in the Bataan Death March, led to Dawn of a Thousand Nights. And while I loved writing the novels, even more meaningful were the amazing relationships with dozens of men—many, many grandpas.

A dozen or so veterans still write and email. Many more have passed away. Yet, it warms my heart to know they died knowing their stories would live on.

Even today I received a letter from my veteran friend LeRoy. He wrote to tell me about his recent stroke and about a special women he still corresponds with. You see, another amazing thing that resulted from my first novel was the two people I was able to connect: Hana—an infant born inside the concentration camp—and the medic who saved her life.

Hana had read my novel, and she asked about the men I interviewed. She told me about one special medic, and I was able to give her the name and number of the medic I interviewed. It just so happened that LeRoy was the man who saved her life!

Survivor and liberator were reunited after all these years because I was willing to listen, to embrace, to care, and to share. The experiences of heroes will live on. A new generation of readers are now discovering little-known stories from World War II. And my life story will never be the same.


Monday, May 18, 2009

Getting Perspective—Being a Teen Mom

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
—Franklin P. Jones, writer

Ugh. Sometimes being a parent can be so frustrating. Just as you’re finally working on your English essay or you’re at a good place in the movie, your child needs your attention. It’s as if he has an internal sensor that says, “Start crying, kid. Your mom is really busy now.”

Of course, when is a good time to be interrupted? Something always fills our time or takes our attention. That’s where perspective comes in. Perspective is viewing what happens today in light of the future. It’s considering what’s really important and contemplating what will matter to us five, ten, or twenty years from now. Then it’s planning our time and our goals accordingly.

Life as I See It
My fiancĂ© and I were both excited about my pregnancy until reality set in. Then we were scared that we wouldn’t have enough money, enough space in our apartment, and worried that I wouldn’t be able to finish school. After we talked to some of our friends, we realized that we had plenty of support and would be able to figure things out.
—Amanda, Ontario, Canada

Change of Perspective
When we become mothers we think about things we never considered before—such as being a good role model or scheduling play into our day. We worry about vaccinations, pollution, and too much sexiness on TV. We see the world in a different light, mainly because we’ve brought a precious child into it.

Life as I See It
Before I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was get out of my mom’s house. Now that I have a child, I wish I could just go back and have my mom take care of me—but that’s not possible.
—Jessica, Montana

Being a mom has changed the way I think. I worry about things that I never worried about before. We went on vacation, and we had to fly. I have never had any problems with flying, but knowing that my baby was on the plane really upset me.
—Jessica, Florida

If I didn’t have my daughter, I wouldn’t be going to college or bettering myself. I would be one of those kids you see on the street drunk by noon. When I think of that, I appreciate her that much more.
—Jamie, Montana

Here’s another example of perspective:
Once there were two shoe salesmen who went to Africa to open new sales territories. Three days after they arrived, the first salesman faxed a message: “I will be returning on the next plane. I can’t sell shoes here. Everyone goes barefoot all the time.”

There was no report from the second salesman for about two weeks. Then came a fat, airmail envelope with this message for the home office. “Fifty orders enclosed. Prospects unlimited. Nobody here has shoes.”

When you became pregnant, it may have been difficult to consider your pregnancy in a positive light. You may have been like the first shoe salesman who simply focused on the negative and felt like walking away.
Of course you couldn’t walk away. You’re a mom now. Now you see the world with “mothering” eyes.

You’ve discovered there is a second way to look at your situation. Like the second salesman, you see the potential. Motherhood has become a time to reconsider your future. A time to clarify your goals. Or maybe it’s a time to take a different path.

Excerpt from Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Mom, Zondervan Publishing
© Tricia Goyer, 2003


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Expectations are a strange thing.

I used to expect certain things out of life. I imagined the small house with the white picket fence like everyone does. I expected that when I tried to please someone they’d be pleased. I thought kindness would be returned. I thought my hard work would always result in adequate rewards. Then I woke up. Like Sleeping Beauty awakened by a kiss, I was a princess, a daughter of the king, but there was still a big, world filled with wanna-be spell-casters and dragons who wanted to insure I didn’t live happily-ever-after with my prince.

Expectations are a strange thing. We have an inner desire for perfection. We long for heaven from the very beginning—no sorrows, no tears, no pain, no death, every long fulfilled, every need satisfied, every moment magical.
Expectations are even stranger because they have a way of hanging out and hovering in the corners without us even thinking about them. If we were to put into words what we hope for/expect we would laugh-out-loud, but expectations are felt more than thought or verbalized, and that’s the problems.

I had (still have) huge expectations about three specific areas of my life: my marriage, my parenting, my service for God.

When I married there were many things I expected that I totally laugh about now. For example, when I was dating John he was always very neat. His apartment was clean. His items were tidy. He did his own laundry and cooked for himself. I don’t know why I got the idea, but I full expected that he’d continue on with these things—yes, the cleaning and laundry and cooking. I thought they were part of him and it would be awesome. Instead they were done out of necessity and once he was married … well, there was no need.

I also had huge expectations about my kids. I thought I would mold them and they would submit to my leading. I was fully disappointed when my adorable, chubby cheeked, curly haired daughter had a strong will. She wanted her way, not mine, and made that clear every moment of the day.

What was that about?

Then there was my service to God. I’d work for God and He would be pleased. I’d write a book and it would sell tons. I’d give a speech and every heart would be changed. I’d provide words of insight … and I’d always be thanked for my input.

Even today I battle expectations. And I’m learning that it helps to name them, to weigh them, and to decide if they are worth even a corner of my mind and heart. For example, lately I’ve been dealing with extending family—siblings, cousins, aunts. Many of them are still seeking/searching even though I’ve felt they’ve had the answer laid out to them many times. I was hard on myself, telling myself I need to do better—to reach out more, to speak more truth, to love and care and give. Surely then things would change. I expected (though I never verbalized it) that there was one thing I could say that would make all the difference. If I just came up with it, I could speak truth into their lies and the would see the error of their ways and commit fully to Christ in every aspect of their lives.

In the end, I realized (with the help of a friend) that they knew the truth. My preaching would get them no where. In fact, if I was trying to do the work of the Spirit. I was attempting to take their hands and lead them to the throne, when I’ve never been given that job. Instead of clinging to my expectations, clinging to the trust in myself to show them the right way, I needed to unclench those fingers and turn them palm upward. I need to surrender my family—those I loved—to Christ, praying for His work to be accomplished in His timing. Knowing that when, if, what I was supposed to speak would be made clear to me by the inspiration of the Spirit in my own live.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Motherhood is a valid profession.


Motherhood is a valid profession.


It is that belief that inspired Jill Savage and a group of women to plan the first Hearts at Home conference 16 years ago. Today these conferences are a place where moms can go to find the encouragement and education they need to do this mothering thing right!

The problem is, not everyone can attend a Hearts at Home conference, so Hearts at Home University was created!

Hearts at Home University is a new resource designed to encourage and equip you in your journey as a parent! These live web casts, affordably priced at $15 each, allow you to tap into continuing education as a mom on a regular basis right from the comfort of your own computer.

The topics that will be covered over the Spring and Summer Semester include:

“Is There Really Sex after Kids” with Jill Savage
“She’s Gonna Blow” with Julie Barnhill
“Redefining Romance” with Mark and Jill Savage
“Keeping Your Ducks in a Relative Row” with Karen Ehman

For information on dates and times, or to register go here.



Friday, May 08, 2009

Pilgrimage!

A few nights before we left on our cruise my children, my grandmother, and I took a trip down memory lane. We were remembering when my kids were babies—the cute things they did and fun things they said. We also discussed what a Momma’s boy my oldest son was. He’s nineteen now, a handsome strapping lad over six-feet tall, but I still remember how he’s cry when I left the room. I still remember how he’d cling to my leg wherever.

I thought about this imagery once again this morning as I read Deuteronomy 11:22, “Be careful to obey all the commands I give you; show love to the Lord you God by walking in his ways and clinging to him.” In other places, this word is translated, “cleave, hold fast, remain true.” God doesn’t want us to passively go about our day, thinking of Him now and again, but to pursue him and hang on to Him—for there is our hope. There is our life.

Jesus only asks this one thing from us . . . our life. To serve and follow him with our heart, soul, and strength. To cling and let Him lead. It is our choice.

This turning over the steering will and stick shift is big stuff, important stuff. It deals with our souls, and living life to the full. And something I question if I understand the seriousness of it. I’m a good person, I tell myself. I love my neighbor (mostly), give to the poor (by taking the stuff I don’t want anyway to Goodwill), and try to follow God, by trying to figure out how serving Him will fit into my day.

And even as I read what I just wrote, I still notice a lot of “I” statement. I try to choose right, I really do. But is that what God wants? I’m walking on His path, yet He wants me to cling. Like the one-year-old that doesn’t want his mom out of his sight and will through a screaming fit if she dares try to use the bathroom alone. Clinging to Christ vs. sashaying along the right path are two totally different things. Serious stuff.

“We do not always hold our faith dear the way that we should,” writes Robert Benson in The Body Broken. “We do not always wrestle and struggle with our beliefs as though they really matter. We are not always quick to hold the way that we live our lives up into the light of the sublimity of our ideas. We do not always realize the potential of those ideas to make us truly one with Christ and one with each other and one with the saints, and one with our own sweet selves, for that matter.”

This is the choice I am making every day.

I’m a pilgrim. Daily I must choose life, choose abundance, and choose to cling. I am striving to listen better. Striving not to be blind and stupid when there’s an all-seeing, all-knowing God who wants more than anything to lead me moment-by-moment.


Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Yet our message was clear.

Last year God granted our family one of the greatest opportunities of our lives. We felt called to join with others from our church/community to travel to the Czech Republic. During our 17 days there, we met amazing men and women who will be our friends for life. The people we met could not believe we’d come for far, at such cost, to share the good news with them. Yet our message was clear. “We came because God loves you. You are so important to Him that He brought a us half way around the world to tell you that!”



One of our family’s best memories is seeing the joy and excitement on Voyta’s face as this 15-year-old young man accepted Christ as his Savior. And there were many, many others who trusted us, became curious about Jesus, and wanted to know more about the Bible and salvation. And now we cannot wait to go back to continue the work!

The family camp we worked at is in a rural area 2.5 hours east of Prague. This year, John and I will be working with the “advanced” speakers—professional people who have great influence in their country. Cory, Leslie, and Nathan will once again be working with the pre-teens—the next generation!

We will be working beside three missionary couples and the small Vysoke Myto Baptist Church, who were both awed by how God moved in the people’s hearts last year. As God’s people working together, we cannot wait to see the harvest God is preparing!

We would appreciate you praying for us as we prepare for our trip. We know God will provide everything we need. We can wait to see what He does!


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